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One Shots by Jackie6416

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KillMePleaseGod by Jackie6416

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Submitted on
December 17, 2007
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16 (who?)
“I only missed by half an inch, though! It’s not so bad!” I exclaimed. Even as I defended myself from the raving woman, I hid my bow and quiver behind my back. If I kept them in her sight, she’d probably break them like she had last timed she’d truly lost it over my missing a shot.

“Not so bad?! Only half an inch?! The point isn’t that you missed by a certain amount, it’s that you missed at all! Missing by half an inch is just as bad as missing by a mile!” she yelled at me. I backed up a step or two as she loomed over me, breathing deeply and harshly like any person on the edge does. She was trying to keep from snapping further and killing me. I just knew she was.

“But you used to tell me missing wasn’t so bad if it was only by a little bit!” I said.

“I only ever said that so you’d try harder to fix your aim! I thought if I tried urging you on, you’d actually get better at this! But you haven’t! You’re the worst cupid I have ever laid eyes on! Actually, as far as I’m concerned, you don’t deserve to be angel, let alone an angel of love!” she roared. As she screamed in my face she knocked my halo from above my head, causing me to squeak and fall to the ground.

“It’s not like I meant to!” I shouted, trying still to defend myself. She was seriously scaring me now. She had to have gone some kind of crazy to go so far as to knock my halo off.

“You never mean to! That’s no goddamn excuse! You don’t have any idea how much trouble you cause others each time you miss! You don’t realize the work it takes to fix your mess-ups! Each time you miss and hit the wrong person, you ruin two lives and two loves! Even after we fix them, they’re never the same as God intended them to be! You’re a life-ruiner!” she shrieked, looming over me so much more now than before.

“I’m sorry,” I barely whispered out, tears gathering in my eyes.

“Sorry doesn’t do anything! Sorry isn’t good enough! If sorry solved everything, there would be no problems in the universe!” she screamed down at me. I was trembling as I stared up at her with tear-filled eyes. I wasn’t the type to cry normally, but right then a few of the tears fell free. I hadn’t realized I was such a pain. I hadn’t realized I was so much trouble. I hadn’t realized I was such a stupid cupid.

“Screaming at the boy certainly doesn’t solve anything, either,” came a voice. My eyes as well as my boss’s eyes flew over to the direction the voice came from. There stood four of the most beautiful beings in Heaven: Michael, an archangel, Azrael, the top cupid, Gabriel, the top archangel, and Toriel, the only dark cupid ever. They had undoubtedly been sent down to deal with the stupid cupid that had made his hundredth missed shot.

“Sirs, I was just—“ my boss started to say, but she was cut off.

“Losing the love you’re sworn to have for all, especially those that need it,” Toriel supplied flatly. He didn’t look happy. Not that the others looked happy, but he actually looked upset.

“…I…I’ll leave now,” my boss said softly after a silence. She left the room swiftly, and I stared after her. No pat on the head like she normally gave me when leaving. Did she really hate me now? Was I so bad a cupid I caused people to hate, rather than love?

“It’s Zexsiel, isn’t it?” came a soft question. I turned my eyes forward and found Azrael crouching down in front of me with a questioning smile on his face.

“…Yeah…” I said slowly. I took this moment to quickly wipe at my eyes. I didn’t know if I was crying or not, but I wasn’t going to take a chance. The last thing I needed was for four of the greatest names in Heaven to see me crying just because my boss had gone slightly psycho on me.

“You know who we are, right?” he asked, the smile less questioning and more friendly now. What was I, five? He was acting like I was a baby. If I didn’t feel I was in so much trouble and if he wasn’t the top cupid, I might’ve gotten him for acting like I was a little kid.

“Yeah,” I said again, this time with much less hesitation. Now that I thought about it, if he was treating me like a little kid, maybe I’d only get punished like one. Perhaps my head wouldn’t be had after all.

“Good, good. Now, Zexsiel, can you tell me why you want to be a cupid?” he asked, still smiling and talking kindly. I threw a quick glance at the other three. Toriel looked like he was trying not to roll his eyes. I was willing to bet that he wouldn’t be so easy on me, if he got a word in edgewise.

I looked back at Azrael now, tilting my head up proudly as I spoke. “Because I want to spread the joy of love to everyone,” I declared with pride. There was silence as Azrael just sat there, still smiling at me. He was waiting for me to give my real reason. Crap. After a few minutes I looked away, an embarrassed blush coming to my face. “Because my dad’s a cupid,” I mumbled lowly. No pride this time around.

“So you’re just doing this ‘cause of daddy, huh? You don’t care to spread the love?” Toriel shot.

“I do!” I exclaimed, looking over at him, “That’s just not my main reason…” I added as I looked away again. Azrael reached out and grabbed my chin, turning my head so that I had to look at him.

“It’s fantastic that you want to be like your father, Zexsiel, but to be a good cupid your main reason has got to be that you want to spread the love. Even though you do want that now, if it’s not your main reason then your shots are less effective. Even being only second reason can cause your shots to go awry in the way that yours do,” he said very softly. He still had that all too kind smile on his face, and I was kind of wishing he’d just get mad at me and yell like everybody else.

I stared at him for a moment, wondering what would happen next. He didn’t seem to be about to say anything more, but I didn’t know what he expected me to say in reply. Maybe I should just ask what I was wondering?

“Hey, stupid, you home or what? Anything going on in that head of yours?” called out Toriel. I torn my eyes away and looked at him now. Seriously, what were they expecting me to say? Did they want me to resign or say I’d try harder or what?

“Toriel, be nice. He’s confused, and maybe even scared,” Gabriel said flatly, narrowing his eyes at the dark cupid.

“Bah. He’s a bloody child. He shouldn’t be a cupid at all. The age limit used to be higher. The fact that we lowered it is why there’s so much havoc in the realm of love nowadays,” Toriel said, waving off Gabriel’s glare carelessly.

“I’m not a child!” I blurted out without thinking. All eyes were on me now, and a smirk was on Toriel’s face.

“If you aren’t a child, then there’s no need for you to be offended by me calling you one. An adult wouldn’t care what was said about him,” he said smugly. I scowled a little now, knowing he was probably right, but still in denial of my being a child.

“Toriel, knock it off. The only one being childish here is you, picking fights with a fourteen-year-old,” Michael snapped.

Azrael suddenly grabbed my by the hand, standing up and pulling me to my feet as he did. “Well, anyways, the way in which we’re going to deal with this is simple. Zexsiel, you’ll be put on the Advanced Archery Ardency Team,” he said, patting my head and pulling me to his side.

“The AAA?” Michael asked with surprise.

“Are you nuts? He isn’t anywhere near their capability! Why the Hell are you putting him with them?” Toriel asked.

“If he’s on the team, it will be easier for us to work with him personally. Besides, I’ve found it helps sometimes to put someone with lesser skills amongst the best of their generation. It inspires them and helps with their want to spread the love,” Azrael explained as kindly as possible, trying hard not to insult me.

“Lesser skills is an understatement here, Azrael. And the others on the team will give him Hell of six different kinds,” Toriel said flatly.

“I highly doubt they’ll be cruel to him, Toriel. Though you probably do rub off some of your bad habits on them, they know better than to be mean to their peers. They’re the best young angels of love, after all,” Gabriel said just as flatly.

“They’re teenagers, Gabriel. Not to mention they worked hard to get on that team, and he’s getting put on it because he’s the worst, not among the best. They’ll eat him alive,” Toriel countered. I was suddenly feeling very nervous about this. Though I had seen them from afar, I’d never met any of the AAA Team. I’d never even heard anything about their personalities, really. This was my first take on them, and I didn’t like the sound of it.

“Only if you say things like that in front of them. If you don’t goad them into it, they’ll be respectful and proper,” Azrael said.

“Like I’m going to watch my mouth just because kids will be kids if I don’t,” Toriel said, speaking more to himself than to Azrael.

“You should watch your mouth anyways. You may be dark, but you’re still an angel nonetheless,” Michael said. This conversation continued on for several more minutes, shooting back an forth. Finally, though, Azrael took me off, and Toriel naturally followed quickly. Gabriel and Michael didn’t come, probably because they had more important things to tend to. I was the problem of the top two cupids now.

I fidgeted nervously, switching between playing with the sash and crossing my arms in front of my lower half to provide more cover. I didn’t like this. I’d almost rather quit being a cupid than do this. But that wasn’t really an option, since I doubted Azrael would just up and let me quit. He seemed like the type to force me to stay and work through this. The only way I’d be allowed to quit is if I had a nervous breakdown, which I wasn’t fortunate enough to be near yet.

“Why am I wearing this again?” I whimpered weakly. Azrael and Toriel looked up at me, the latter of the two smirking deviously.

“It’s the classic cupid wear. I used to wear that myself, you know. Toriel wore one as well,” Azrael said.

“Yeah, but…the cupid wear has been modified a lot….so why am I wearing this?” I said.

“Because you’re bottom of the pyramid, kid. On the Advanced Archery Ardency Team, according to your ranking you wear a certain cupid uniform. The higher up you are, the more modified a version you get. You’re the worst, so you get the good ol’ classic look,” Toriel said. He was truly enjoying this, unlike me.

“But won’t it, like…it’s just…” I said weakly, not quite able to get the words out. This was painfully embarrassing. Just a floating sash, my quiver, and my bow. Nothing more, nothing less.

“It’s enchanted, Zexsiel. It won’t reveal you, so don’t worry,” Azrael said with a slightly amused smile. Even he found my embarrassment slightly entertaining.

“But what if I snag it on something? It won’t rip off or anything, right?” I asked. I pulled the sash tighter around me to try to get it to stick to my skin, but it automatically pulled away from my body after I let go. Why couldn’t it stick on me instead of float around me? Damnit.

“It shouldn’t. But, on the off chance that it does, please call me so I can come be shocked and amazed,” Toriel said, still smirking.

“As far as I know, there have been very few incidents where cupids accidentally lost their sash or where somebody ripped it off,” Azrael said.

“But it has happened?” I asked, absolutely mortified now. I did not have the best of luck, obviously. I just knew I was going to lose my sash at least once.

“Don’t worry. If something like that happens, just cover yourself with your quiver. Azrael did that back in the day when I ripped his off,” Toriel said with a laugh. Azrael threw him a glare for a moment before looking back at me with a smile.

“You don’t need to be so nervous, Zexsiel. Nothing is going to happen, so please calm down. You’ll be just fine. I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” he said kindly. He was trying so hard to keep me calm, but it just wouldn’t work. I had no reason not to be a ball of wrecked and wracked nerves.

“Alright, the paperwork is done. Let’s go meet the rest of the team, shall we?” Azrael said suddenly, standing up from his chair now. He came around his desk as Toriel stood up as well, and they both headed for the door. I, however, stood there stiffly. I hadn’t walked a single step since I’d changed into my new uniform. I had the great fear that my sash would suddenly go flying off if I moved too much.

“Kid, move it,” Toriel called back to me, being the first to notice I wasn’t moving. I didn’t move and inch. Now both of them stopped and looked back at me silently. The more they stared at me, the more the realized why I wasn’t following—I could tell that because slight amusement was coming to their faces again. They thought it was funny I was acting like this over something that had been the standard uniform back when they were young cupids.

“Zexsiel, if you don’t come on your own, Toriel is going to have to carry you. If he does that, his hands are going to be beyond the sash,” Azrael said lightly. Despite myself, I actually had to think on that one for a moment. When Toriel took a step in my direction, though, I jumped to it real quick and walked over to them. With smiles still on their faces, we left their office.

I stood now in front of the AAA team, quiver and bow hung across my back properly for once, one hand tugging nervously at my sash and the other at my mouth as I chewed on my finger anxiously. Neither Azrael or Toriel had said my purpose for being here yet, but I could tell the group had already guessed. They were six in all, and true to Toriel’s words, they were all wearing different versions of the cupid’s uniform as it had been modified over time.

If I hadn’t already known the advancement of the uniforms depended on skill level, I’d have guessed it depended on age instead. It was only natural that the older ones would be more advanced, of course, so it wasn’t really a surprise that the youngest looking wore the oldest uniform and the oldest looking wore the newest uniform. And I, now the youngest in the group and the weakest in skill, wore the oldest uniform of them all.

As the silence seemed to stretch on into eternity, Toriel suddenly tugged at my sash, grabbed my ass, and smirked. I let out an undignified yelp, my hand flew my mouth to keep anything else from coming out, and a burning blush came to my face. “Toriel, goddamnit!” Azrael roared, grabbing me and pulling me to him for protection.

“You really shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” Toriel said, still smirking.

“I’m going to take you in vain in a second if you don’t behave yourself!” Azrael growled threateningly. As I huddled closely to Azrael for safety, I threw a glance at the other AAA team members. They all had amusement in their eyes, but the rest of their expressions remained stoic. Of all the ways to start my time with this team off, this had to be the worst.

“Is that a promise?” Toriel asked smartly.

“Can we just skip all the hassle and annoyance and I resign from being a cupid?” I mumbled lowly to Azrael. I didn’t know where the words came from, except that they came out of my mouth. Azrael and Toriel both looked at me now.

“Congratulations, Toriel. You’ve made him want to quit. I hope you’re happy with yourself,” Azrael said, shooting the dark cupid another glare. He really would let me quit? Wow, had I ever misjudged him.

“Hey, hey, hey, kid, don’t be so hasty. If all it takes to make you quit is an ass-grab, it’s no wonder you suck so much,” Toriel said, putting his hands up in surrender to Azrael’s glare.

“It doesn’t take an ass-grab, it takes you,” I said without thinking. Shocked looks on everyone’s part now, including my own. Nobody had expected that comment.

“Gutsy, aren’t we? Is this your defensive? Insults and calling it quits?” Toriel challenged me, a smirk coming to his face. Quite stupidly, I accepted that challenge head-on.

“No, this is my common sense, and it doesn’t include insults. I don’t need to sink down to that level—unlike you, I don’t feel the need to deal with things with immortal immaturity. If you’re taking offense to it, that’s your own problem, because no offense is intended,” I said, giving him a dark look as I pulled away from Azrael just slightly.

“Ouch. You’re a vicious little one. I have immortal immaturity, you say? And that’s not meant to be offensive? You must have skewed views to think that can be said in a non-offensive manner, let alone to think that the manner you’re speaking in isn’t supposed to be an attack,” Toriel said. He was enjoying this entirely too much. You’d think he’d get mad that a pathetic sap like me would dare talk down to him.

“No more skewed than the views of a dark cupid, I’d assume,” I shot back quickly, sticking my nose in the air. All at once, Toriel and Azrael both threw their heads back and laughed loudly. Now confusion took my face as well as the faces of the other AAA team members. What was so funny?

“Real cute, kid. You’ve definitely got some confidence, now we just need to give you that same confidence when you’re taking your aim with love on your mind,” Toriel said, smiling smugly down at me before sharing that smile with Azrael. I stared up at them for a moment, digesting his words. That had all just been a ploy to test me!?

“That was very bold of you, Zexsiel. Not even any of your new teammates here would have dared to talk to Toriel in such a way, back when they only first joined the team. Speaking of your teammates, it’s about time introductions are made,” Azrael said, patting my head as he smiled down at me.

Automatically, the youngest of the group stepped forward.  “My name is Opael,” he said, bowing to me. He kept his one visible eye on me, the other hidden by a sharply cut lock of dark green bangs, even as he bowed. He stood again after a moment, stepping back into line.

The next in age and likewise next in skill stepped forward now. “My name is Chael,” he said, bowing much more lowly than the first one had. There was a slightly pompous smile on his face, hidden only for two seconds, once when his long, pale purple hair slid forward over his shoulders and once when it slid back behind him again. He paused for a moment after straightening up, but then stepped back into line again.

The next stepped forward, sizing me up before he moved to bow. “My name is Triel,” he said, bowing such an exaggerated bow that his head nearly touched the ground. When he stood back up he tossed his pink-and-blue-streaked hair about, quite obviously showing off. After sizing me up a second time, he stepped back into line.

The next stepped forward and went to bow without hesitation. “My name is Lallael,” he said, bowing stiffly. He straightened up and stepped back into line right away, brushing some of his ebony hair out of his face only once he had taken his place back in line.

The next one and last male one stepped forward, sizing me up in a much more expressive way than Triel had. “My name is Sariel,” he purred, winking at me before he bowed. As he stood up he winked again, this time with the other eye, and flashed me a smile. He didn’t step back into line until the others cleared their throats as a subtle hint for him to snap to attention. He ran a hand through his orange-and-black-striped hair as he stepped back into line, still giving me that smile.

The final member of the team, both the only female and the best of them all, stepped forward now. “My name is Misael,” she said, bowing a sweeping bow. She bowed and straightened up all in one fluid motion, and I couldn’t help but gap a little as she stepped back into line. That had been a hell of a bow. I’d seen even adults that hadn’t mastered bowing so beautifully.

Realizing it was my turn to introduce myself in return, I stepped forward to them. Instead of doing multiple bows as would have been customary, I bowed only once and, in just as fluid a motion as Misael had moved, I swung my body from only the waist up along the line of them and stood up again, tossing my hair back over my shoulder. There was a smug look on my face as I met all of their eyes, giving them each their own second-long glance. Toriel and Azrael were right, I did have a lot of confidence, so long as it didn’t come to my skills as a cupid. And, improper as my bow might have been, I knew I’d shown them all up. “My name is Zexsiel,” I said in a deep, warm voice. Take that, bitches.

Before I could fully enjoy my showing off to them and showing up of them, Toriel grabbed me by the hair on the back of my head and yanked me over to him. All of my better-than-you-attitude was lost as I let out a yelp and all but fell back into the older angel. “What’re you doing?!” I exclaimed, instantly going to pull away but finding that painfully impossible with him holding my hair.

“I just remembered! Your halo! You’re no angel without a halo!” Toriel declared. Horror took my face. I had totally forgotten about my halo after my boss had smacked it off. It was still back at the office! Or, so I thought, until the dark cupid suddenly dangled my halo before my eyes.

“M-my halo… It’s broken!” I shrieked with absolute devastation now replacing my much more mild horror. On one side it was ripped and on the other side it was dented in. This was far worse than merely losing my halo. I had it, but it was ruined. A halo was an angel’s most important thing—even more so than their wings! To lose one’s pride and joy was bad, the break one’s pride and joy was awful, but to allow someone else to break your pride and joy was just horrid.

“Hm? Oh, well I’ll be, it is broken,” Toriel said, looking at my halo with slight surprise. He hadn’t even noticed until now?!

“Oh my GOD! It’s broken!” I wailed and sobbed at the same. I grabbed at my fallen open jaw and bit my fingers, half trying to stifle myself and half trying to convince myself that this was a dream and that if I hurt myself enough I’d wake up. No dice. I collapsed to my knees, absolutely losing my head now.

“No worries! Calm down! I can fix this!” Toriel declared. I stared up at him with tears and apprehension in my eyes. Could he really fix it? If he could, I didn’t care how much of an asshole he was, I would bow down and kiss his feet.

“This won’t turn out well,” Azrael whispered to himself as Toriel turned around and hunched over my halo, fixing it beyond the sight of the rest of us. After a few tense moments of work, he spun back around and held my halo up in triumph.

“Voila! One fixed halo!” he declared, showing it around the group before holding it out to me. As he held out to me the “fixed” halo, weak laughter that held signs of insanity and the tears that had been threatening to fall escaped me.

“Y-you…you…kill-killed it… It’s bent beyond repair now…. And is that tape holding the ripped parts together? It’s dead…. It’s dead… My halo is dead…” I whispered with soft whimpers as I stared at what used to be my most beautiful halo.

“What do you mean I killed it? I made it heart-shaped! Only the best cupids get heart shaped halos. In case you hadn’t noticed, your teammates all have heart-shaped halos, just like Azrael and me,” Toriel said, sounding a bit offended by my accusations. Now I snapped to a new level of mind-loss, this level being pissed.

I snatched my halo away and jumped up, shooting Toriel a glare of death even as tears still streamed down my face. “All of your fucking halos were made to be heart-shaped! They weren’t tormented and tortured into being that way, you stupid bastard! What the Hell is wrong with you?! What kind of stupid motherfucker makes a round halo into a heart-shaped one?! Are you trying to be an asshole, or are you naturally this fucked up in the head?!” I screamed.

Everyone looked taken aback now. They hadn’t expected that reaction. I swear, if this was just another test to see how far I dared to go, I was going to stuff all of their stupid halos down their throats. “Calm down, kid. I can fix it. I’ll just bend it ba—“ Toriel said, slowly reaching for my halo. I jerked around, holding my halo far from his reach, but never taking my eyes narrowed in a death glare off of him.

“You’re not going to do anything! You’re not touching my halo anymore, you idiotic asshole! I don’t need you to ruin it more than you already have! You’re nothing but bad karma! Keep your hands to yourself!” I snarled viciously. I no longer was willing to trust this guy in the least. Now I could see why he was the one and only dark cupid. He was a friggin’ psychotic jerkoff. It was probably only his talent with a bow and arrow that even kept him the job of cupid.

“Zexsiel, calm down, please. Toriel really didn’t mean to upset you or hurt your halo. He just wasn’t thinking,” Azrael said in a weak attempt to calm me down. He reached for me, moving his hands in a calm down gesture as though that would make me any less pissed.

“I have doubts that he ever thinks. I’m not freaking putting up with him. I don’t care who the Hell he is. This is all bloody insane. This stupid uniform, him not knowing to keep his hands to himself, my halo being murdered—all of it is insane! If this is what it takes to be a stupid cupid, I’m not going to be one ever! Screw this and screw you, Toriel!” I exclaimed. I turned around fully now and went to storm off, but I found a very pissed looking Misael in my face, blocking my movement.

“What in God’s good name do you think you’re doing?! You have a little trouble, so you think you can just tell off the top cupids and quit?! What kind of cupid are you, acting like this!? You can get your halo replaced! You can get your uniform altered! You can get your personal space back! You can learn to be one of the greatest cupids! But you can’t quit if you ever expect to get any of that done!” she shouted furiously.

“Maybe I don’t want to get any of that done! Maybe I don’t want to be a cupid! What’s it to you anyways?!” I shouted back. I wasn’t about to back down just because the teachers’ pet was mad that I’d told them off.

“I just hate seeing cupids be stupid and quit for no good reason! You’re wasting the power of love if you quit! You should know not everyone has the power to bring love to others! If you quit now, you’re wasting the gift God gave you!” she shouted, sounding less furious and more merely annoyed now.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, the power to bring love to others isn’t one God gave me! I’m a screw up, so screw off! If I don’t want to be a cupid, it’ll never work out! So get out of my face!” I shouted, still sounding very much pissed off. Surprisingly, she did get out of my face. She pulled back slowly, breathing deeply as she tried to calm herself, her eyes slowly widening from their glare as realization came to her. I wasn’t cupid material, and I didn’t want to be a cupid, not really.

“…You’re a waste,” she said softly, sounding more upset with that fact than with me.

“I know,” I responded flatly. I then moved off, shouldering her as I moved by her. I’d lost some of my steam from yelling at her, so it was more of a seething stalking than a pissed storming. The farther I stalked away from the AAA team, the farther I stalked away from my job as a cupid, and the father I stalked away from my job as a cupid, the farther I stalked away from the only plans I had ever had for my life.

Being a cupid was all I had ever dreamed of or thought about. Even if I had never been good at it, it’s all I had ever done. My entire life, the only thing I’d ever known was that my father was a cupid and that I was going to become one just to be like him. My own goals had always been his goals; never had my own goals really been my goals. And suddenly those goals were lost to me, and there was nothing to take their place.

Before I knew it, I had nothing for me. No goals. No job. No life. Being a cupid had been everything to me, and now that my everything was gone, I had nothing at all for me. This realization, as it slowly settled in on me, was horrible. What was more horrible than that, though, was the thought of what my father would do when he learned about all of this.

As bad a cupid as I had been, he had always said he was proud of me for continuing to try so hard to be something just because I wanted to be that, not because it was expected or required. Now, though…I’d quit. He had no reason to be proud, but every reason to be disappointed. I hadn’t merely failed—I’d been failing all along, really—but I had now given up. That was totally different, and much worse. I wasn’t just his son, the failure now. I was his son, the quitter.

By the time all of this had truly settled in and gripped my mind, I had gone home and changed out of that pathetic excuse for a uniform. I dropped the sash on the floor, along with my bow, quiver of arrows, and my halo. All of those things held the image of me as a cupid within them. I was no longer a cupid, though, and thusly I would no longer use or wear those things.

The only one I really needed now was the halo, and that had to be replaced by a new one. Not only was it broken, but it was red. It was the red that only a cupid’s halo would be. And I wasn’t a cupid anymore, so I could not wear that halo even if it weren’t ruined. A crippling feeling came now as I stared down at the abandoned items. I was fully covered, but I somehow felt more bare and naked now than I had when I’d been wearing the things piled on the floor. They didn’t provide much physical coverage, but they had provided a coverage that was my identity. Not anymore, though. Never again would my identity be held in those items.

I glanced towards my bedroom door, knowing just on the other side my parents probably were waiting with worry for me to come out. The second I walked out that door, they would ask me what was wrong. Then they would notice my lack of bow, my lack of arrow, and my lack of cupid-red halo. And then they would realize their son was both a failure and a quitter. And then they would realize there son was no good as a cupid, and no good as an angel.

I shuddered as I tried to suppress more tears. No luck with that. As I looked back down at the pile on the floor, fresh tears began to fall. I wasn’t ready for them to know yet. I wasn’t ready for them to see me like this—identityless—yet. But I didn’t want to stay here, knowing they were on the other side of the door, and knowing that my previous identity lay on the floor at my feet.

Within moments I was out my bedroom window, and within minutes I was out of Heaven’s Gates, on my way to Earth. It was against the rules to leave when not on a job assignment or without a pass signed by one of the archangels, but I knew a small place to sneak out, and I really needed to be out of Heaven for a little while. Besides, it’s not like it would hurt to be out for just a little while. I’d been to Earth countless times, so I knew the whole deal about how to be down there without endangering myself or anyone else.

I sat very still amongst the rose bushes, watching a couple watch the setting sun lower down on the hillside I was on. It might have been minutes since I’d left Heaven, or it might have been hours, or it might even have been days. I wasn’t too good at calculating the change from Heaven’s time to Earth’s time. Hell, it might have even been weeks without me having noticed. This might have been the first sunset I’d seen since coming down here, or it might have been the seventh. I didn’t know. I wasn’t paying attention at all anymore.

The girl leaned over to the guy she was with—her boyfriend, I would assume—and leaned her head on his shoulder just slightly. He either didn’t notice, or he wanted to pretend he didn’t. He was either oblivious or nervous. She wanted him to wrap his arm around her, I could tell. She was longing for his embrace. She was longing for his love.

I ran my hands along my pants pockets lightly, never taking my eyes from the couple. I still had my compact crossbow and a few love bolts. I was uphill from them and behind them. The sun was setting in front of us, so it made them a perfect silhouette amongst the rest of the world. I could probably hit him. Even on the off chance that they were already lovebirds, the bolt would put him in a more lovey-dovey mood, and he’d put his arm around her like she wanted. All it would take is a single, quick shot.

“It’s illegal for anyone but a cupid to dabble in the makings of love. If you shoot him, you’ll be in big trouble,” whispered a soft voice from behind me. I froze, my hands halting their thoughtful fingering of the crossbow and bolts in my pocket. I hadn’t been paying attention, so of course he would be able to sneak up on me. Yes, I recognized him without even turning to look at him, though we’d only met briefly once.

“They need a little love. I can’t help the urge. Anyone who would look at this would want to give the guy a little push,” I said softly, my hand falling away from my pocket now.

“Wrong. Any cupid who would look at this would want to give the guy a little push, because only a cupid would be able to tell how much he needs one and how much she wants him to hold her,” he said just as softly. He moved around to my side now and sat down, and I couldn’t help but slide him a look out of the corner of my eyes.

“I was a cupid before, so it’s only natural I’d notice such things,” I said flatly.

“You’re still a cupid. You quit verbally, but the paperwork hasn’t been done yet. And even if you had done the paperwork, you’d still be a cupid at heart, Zexsiel,” he said, giving off a smile that wasn’t quite smug. He slid neon green eyes to me, watching me for a reaction. He didn’t have to look closely, though. My reaction was nice and loud.

“You’re an idiot, Sariel. You don’t know anything about what I am. And what was with that last line? “Still a cupid at heart”? That’s so freaking cliché, and such a stupid pun. Seriously, if you’re trying to impart words of wisdom, don’t. You may be a good cupid—Hell, you may be a great cupid even!—but you can’t make me into one. No matter how great you are, you can’t turn the bad into the good if it isn’t your own badness that you’re working with,” I said sharply.

“I’m not trying to impart words of wisdom. I’m just trying to let you know that your options are still open,” he said, looking away at the couple now.

“They may be open on paper, but they aren’t open in actuality. I’m not a cupid. I can’t ever be a cupid. Not like a cupid is supposed to be. I’m not meant to make others fall in love,” I said, looking at the couple again as well.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not a cupid. You could be special division,” he said.

I didn’t respond at first, trying to think of a good way to tell him to fuck off. That last statement got me, though.  I’d never heard of the special division. He could possibly be pulling my leg about that, but I just had to ask. “Special division? What’s that?” I asked in the most nonchalant way possible, fighting the urge to slide my eyes his way again.

“Special division is the cupids that protect and prolong love, rather than create it,” Sariel said.

“…How’s that work?” I asked, looking at him now. It was a stupid sounding question, but really it was me asking for more details. When he phrased it that way, I recalled my father mentioning it once or twice before, but he’d never really gone into it.

Now that I was looking back at him, he looked back at me. “Special division cupids are cupids who weren’t so good at making people fall in love, but still wanted very much to help in the affairs of the heart. They deal with problems when two people have been made to fall in love begin to have trouble. It’s their job to help work out the problem as best they can, whether they must work to keep the love going or end it before it grows sour,” he explained. As he spoke there came into his eyes a deep feeling that I couldn’t place, that darkened them from neon to a darker shade of green.

“That…doesn’t sound….like a very nice job…” I said slowly, looking down now.

“It’s not always a nice job, but it’s better than outright quitting being a cupid just because you can’t create love so well,” he said. He glanced away now, the dark feeling leaving his eyes. Only now that he looked away did I dare raise my own eyes back up to him.

“I couldn’t end love, even at the risk of it turning bad,” I whispered softly. He smiled knowingly, as though he had expected me to say that.

“Not all love ends badly. Sometimes it’s just time to let an old love go and find a new one. It takes a long time for our systems to pair up souls, and sometimes it never actually does until it’s too late. In the meantime, though, before we can find their soulmates, people still are in need of love. And so, though only temporarily, we put people in love that don’t really go together, just because that’s what they need for the time being,” he explained softly.

“Because it’s not a love that is meant to be, though, it wears off after awhile—sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly—but it does eventually wear off if it is not true love. The special division cupids are there to end those temporary loves before they come to a point where they damage the true love waiting to happen. If they didn’t end those temporary loves before they ended themselves, there would never be any true love in the world,” he went on casually.

“Not all angels are meant to be angels of love, but the ones who are truly can feel that they are meant to be a cupid,” he finished, sliding his eyes to me once more. I knew the next thing he wanted to say but would not: Can you feel it, Zexsiel? Can you feel that you are meant to be a cupid? Can you feel that love is your destiny?

“I can,” I whispered softly, my eyes locking onto his. Then I felt a little sting in my left shoulder blade, followed shortly by a blush rising to my face. I noticed him flinch before a blush came to his face as well. Shock overcame me. There was no way… We both looked down our backs, and we both saw the heart-tipped arrows moments before they faded into dust. We’d been shot!

Now we both looked around quickly, and our eyes locked in on a very smug looking Toriel. “Only the dark cupid can mess with the affairs of love when it comes to non-mortal beings. That’s why there is even a dark cupid at all. God created him and him alone to allow love to come to those that the regular cupid had no power over,” I whispered. I looked back at Sariel to find his eyes already back on me.

“I’m training to be a dark cupid, not just a regular cupid,” he stated flatly. Another wave of shock.

“If you’re his pupil specifically, you know all of his assignments,” I whispered. A very seductive look came over Sariel’s face now, and a smile not smug but something else worrisome was included with the look. My blush went to full force. Holy crap. “Keep away from me, you…you…you stupid cupid!” I exclaimed, crawling backwards away from him.

“Don’t be like that, Zexsiel. We’re a perfect match, you know. Both cupids, around the same age, around the same height and build…” he purred, crawling towards me faster than I could crawl away.

“Both boys!” I exclaimed in a panicked way.

“You know that love has no boundaries, and I know you’ve done same sex couples before. That’s just an excuse, and we both know that,” he purred, pouncing forward suddenly and pinning me down.

“I don’t want a temporary love! I don’t need one to tide me over until the true one!” I exclaimed.

His smile grew more now as he leaned down into my face. He waited a moment before responding, allowing his weight and body to carefully settle on me. “This isn’t a temporary love, Zexsiel. Only humans have temporary loves. Angels, demons, and all other beings…when we’re in love, it’s only true love,” he whispered, entwining his fingers with mine as he spoke.

“You…uh…wh-when…did our match…come through the system?” I asked.

“Just this morning. That’s why Gabriel and Michael were there today when Toriel and Azrael went to fetch you. They wanted to assess you and see with their own eyes that you were the right one for my match. They can’t put the second dark cupid ever to exist with just anybody, you know,” he purred, his eyes dancing with delight.

“B-but…if tha….if that’s why they came….they should’ve seen I wasn’t right for your m-match,” I whimpered pathetically.

“Don’t be silly, Zexsiel. You’re perfect for me, and I’m perfect for you. A little love is just what you need to inspire you to become a better cupid, and a little love is just what I need to keep me content when I’m shooting everyone else full of love,” Sariel murmured, his lips all but against mine now.

The closer his lips came to mine, the more my panic was replaced with embarrassment and shyness. This was love at work. Whether I thought this was the best of ideas or not, I’d been shot, and I’d been made to fall in love. As my resistance slowly faded, my eyes slowly closed. And then we were kissing, and I was gripping his hands in the same loving way he was gripping mine, and I was in love with him, and he was in love with me, and it didn’t matter that it only happened because that jerkoff Toriel had made it happen.

My mind spiraled not only from this sudden, new love, but from all of the different kinds of love I’d seen before. Special division cupids weren’t needed for loves like this—true love—but they were needed for the other kinds of love. I couldn’t for the life of me create a love of this sort, but I could create temporary love, and I wanted to protect the kind of love that I knew I could make. It would be a waste and rather cruel of me to be selfish and accept this love, without using my powers to protect the loves that weren’t strong enough to protect themselves.

The kiss was broken and so were my thoughts. I opened my eyes rather unwillingly, staring up at Sariel as I tried to figure out why he’d stopped. He was smiling that wonderful smile of his, though, so I couldn’t be mad at him. “So, what do you say?” he asked softly.

“I love you?” I asked, unsure of what he meant. He laughed softly, shaking his head.

“I’m glad to hear that, but I meant about being and staying a cupid,” he said.

“Oh…uh….yeah, sure, whatever,” I said, trying not to frown. Was he really interrupting our newly made love over that? Damn him for being so stupid. And damn his smile that made me unable to hit him for being so stupid.

“Well then, we need to go through the paperwork to transfer you, and we need to talk to Azrael and Toriel, and you need to apologize for Misael for shouting at her, and we need to get you a new halo, and—“ he started listing off our To-Do list, but I cut him off.

“Right. We’ll do all of that. Later. Right now, kiss me, or I swear I’ll stop loving you right now,” I growled with frustration, forcing a half-assed glare onto my face.

“You can’t do that,” he stated flatly, arching an eyebrow.

“I can try!” I exclaimed. He smirked and then smiled and then claimed my lips in another kiss. The bastard was arrogant, just because he was the second best cupid of our generation and just because he was going to be the second ever dark cupid to exist. For somebody who was only second place in both instances, he sure was cocky. The stupid bastard. The stupid cupid. If I didn’t already love him, I’d probably hate him.

He broke off the kiss again suddenly, and my just-closed eyes opened again. Now I was frowning. What did he have to say this time that couldn’t wait!? “I almost forgot to say: I love you too,” he said. I rolled my eyes and pulled him back down to resume the kiss. Just one last time, I really must say, I was a bad cupid, but he was just a plain stupid cupid.
There we go. Just because I wanted to title something "Stupid Cupid". That is the only reason I did this thing. x3

Summary: A not-so-good-cupid draws the attention of the top two and original two cupids. He's screwed up enough that they finally have to deal with him personally. They take him under their wings, planning to teach him the ropes of being a good cupid. At least, that seems to be the reason they take interest in him, but is that really all there is to this story? Maybe one of the young cupid's soon-to-be teammates could tell him if there is more to this than anyone is willing to say.

by :iconcepphiro:

Character Profiles
Name: Zexsiel.
Position: Uke.
Gender: Male.
Race: Angel.
Age: 14.
Eyes: Fuchsia.
Hair: Waist length, bangs nose length, wavy and silky, pulled into a ponytail, fuchsia.
Build: 5' 6", tanned, girly.
Other: Red, taped together and forced-into-a-heart-shape halo. Small white-feathered angel wings.

Name: Sariel.
Position: Seme.
Gender: Male.
Race: Angel.
Age: 18.
Eyes: Neon green.
Hair: Neck length, bangs same length, straight, messy, rough cut, orange-and-black-striped.
Build: 5' 8", slightly pale, partially muscular.
Other: Red, heart-shaped halo. Medium white-feathered angel wings.

Story, characters, and everything else © Me
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princesschichi86 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011
i love this story but while reading it the song stupid cupid was playing in my head
KillMePleaseGod Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, man, I have a veeeeery vague memory of that song, from a movie or something. I can't remember, who does it, again? I sort of want to hear it now, while reading this. >3>;
princesschichi86 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011
yeah it in princess dairies song by maddy moore but that a remake the song is form the 50 lady name Connie Francis did it first
KillMePleaseGod Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, Princess Diaries is definitely where I heard it before. I'm looking up the original now, though. X3
princesschichi86 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011
cool but i think it better by maddy moorethen by the other lady
KillMePleaseGod Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I suppose so. They both sound fine to me. X3
PhoenixGirl101 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010   Writer
aw! so sweet!
KillMePleaseGod Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Aha, I can't believe you found this old thing! I'm glad you liked it, though~<3
PhoenixGirl101 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010   Writer
i found it cos im workin my way through ur gallery - not all the stuff just the fiction... does that sound kinda weird? lol, i just really like ur stuff
KillMePleaseGod Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
No, it doesn't sound weird. I have numerous watchers who've done that. XD
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