This Is the Part

This is the part where I pretend to be okay,
This is the part where I smile and wipe the tears away,
This is the part where I agree that it will get better,
Even though I don't believe it in the least,
Because there's no point in dragging you down with me.

Yeah, sure, it only gets better from here,
Right, of course, god works in mysterious ways,
Yes, I know, it will work itself out in time,
All it takes is for me to stay optimistic,
Then there's no way it'll keep going down,
Surely it's can't get any worse than it is now.

Don't you know I thought it through, though?
Don't you know I know exactly how this goes?
Don't you know I've seen it time and again?
Don't you know that the bad can get worse?
Don't you know my happiness is cursed?

I'm not stressed because I enjoy it,
I'm not depressed because it's fun,
I'm not crying just to get attention,
I've been broken so many times,
That it's hard not to break down again,
Every time something like this happens.

It doesn't do me any good to hope, to pretend,
It doesn't help me to act like it will be okay,
It's hard enough just getting through the day,
Why do I have to smile about it?
Why can't I cry over it?
Why am I expected to act this way?

This is the part where I pretend to be okay,
This is the part where I smile and wipe the tears away,
This is the part where I agree that it will get better,
Even though I don't believe it in the least,
Because it inconveniences you to to know I'm suffering.