Blind Loving the Blind : Short

My breathing, already ragged as it was, was growing only more ragged and labored as the seconds passed. Though he had already promised me that tonight was not my night to pass, I still could not stave off the fear that my next breath might very well be my very last. Tears pooled in my eyes whenever my breath hitched in my throat due to my inability to breathe in properly, but then they would recede when he leaned down, put his lips to mine, and blew a gentle breath into me.

Now was one of those times. My breath got caught in my throat as I tried to inhale, a dire pain in my chest not allowing the air to reach my lungs. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I stared blankly, blindly upward. Just when the thought struck me that this might be my final moment, his lips were upon mine and he used those lips of his to part my own as he blew gently into my mouth.

Unlike the air I had tried to draw in by myself, this breath rushed straight into my lungs, pushing aside the knot of pain as it blew by. The tears receded swiftly as I exhaled in relief now, and only then did he remove his lips from mine. "…You're beautiful, even on the verge of death," he said for no apparent reason. He said this from time to time, and usually I ignored it. I figured he only said it to comfort me, because he knew how vain we humans could be.

This time, though, I didn't want to just let it go. "How would you know? You're as blind as I am, Eaven," I said. The words weren't bitter, and neither was my tone. I was sincerely curious.

"I told you, guardians can sense things in a way that you humans couldn't even dream of, to a degree where we do not have need for sight," he said, a smile sounding in his voice.

"You did say that, but you never explained it. You've never explained anything that relates to you, really. All we've ever talked about is what the world outside is like, how nice it would be if I could go to all the places you've seen-or, rather, to all the places you've been," I said softly.

"…Well, it…it's a bit beyond your imagination… So, put simply, we…the "sixth sense" that humans often talk of, we have it. Only, it is not a sixth sense for us. It is a sense we have in place of our sight. So, while we cannot actually see with out eyes, we can just sense the world around us so well that, through visualizing it in our mind, we can see more clearly and perfectly than any creature of this world can," Eaven said, his voice unusually soft and low for an explanation. He normally spoke quite vibrantly and passionately when trying to describe or explain things to me.

"…It…" I started to speak thoughtfully. As I trailed off for a moment in search of my next word, though, my breath again hitched in my throat abruptly as that painful knot in my chest clutched my lungs, not allowing air the pass into them. Tears welled up in my eyes in the blink of an eye-then, in the next blink of an eye, they were gone, driven back by Eaven's lips on my own and his breath in my lungs.

Though it all happened so swiftly, somehow in that short time I completely lost my line of thought. "…What was I going to say…? I…forgot…" I said softly once I finally did speak again, my mind as blank as my stare.

"You were going to say that I was right, and it is impossible for you to picture what I am talking about," he stated as matter-of-factly as if he actually knew.

"…Okay. So…do you have a simpler way to put it?" I asked.

"Indeed, I do. We…have a bit of a proverb about it... "When you cannot see anything, you can see the beauty in everything"," he said.

"I know a saying similar to that. The one I know goes "When you live in absolute darkness, you can always see the bright side of things"," I said, smiling softly.

"Mmm… That is similar, but not the same. The idea behind your saying is along the lines of "you appreciate everything when you have nothing". However, the idea behind my saying is "there is beauty in all things, but this beauty cannot be seen by any eye"," he explained, using his usual passionate, vibrant voice this time.

"So it's less "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and more "beauty is everywhere you look, as long as you aren't looking for it"?" I asked, arching a curious eyebrow up at him.

"Yes, that's correct. That's why I know for a fact that you're beautiful," he said, a soft smile sounding in his voice now.

"…Well, going by your belief, everyone and everything is beautiful. So it's not really so remarkable that you say I'm beautiful," I stated flatly.

"Just because everything is beautiful does not mean some things are not more beautiful than others, Asm. You are so overwhelmingly beautiful that I can't help but verbally express so time and again," he said, the smile in his voice sounding stronger than before.

That got me. I was stunned for a brief moment. The first thought that came to my mind after that moment was that, no matter how beautiful I may or may not be, Eaven most certainly was far more beautiful than me. Immediately I opened my mouth to say so-but again my breath hitched in my throat, the painful knot in my chest making all but one thought flee my mind. That thought, of course, was the thought that this might be end.

It was not yet the end, though, which I was reminded by my guardian angel's kiss of life as he put his lips upon mine and blew a breath into my lungs. I was tempted to complain about the pain as he pulled back from the not-really-a-kiss, although said kiss had already dulled the ache in my chest for the moment. I didn't, though.

I never complained about how much it hurt, about how hard it was to breathe, because it was that painful difficulty which made him stay so physically close to me-letting me use his lap as a pillow, and putting his lips to mine to help me put aside the pain for awhile. Neither did I ever say that I did not want to die, that I wanted to live longer, because it was my impending demise which made him reveal himself to me-first allowing me to knowingly interact with him, and eventually letting me know what he truly was.

"Why don't you go to sleep for tonight, Asm?" Eaven suggested softly when I did not speak even after he had staved off the pain for me.

"I'm not tired," I replied simply. It was a lie. I was extremely tired. Not just at the moment, but always. I was always tired nowadays. Even when I only just recently woke up, I would feel tired. Nothing gave me energy anymore, not even Eaven.

He gave a thoughtful hum, a few of his fingers lightly rubbing both of my temples. Immediately my eyes fell closed, a sleepy sigh of a hum escaping me. "You seem tired to me," he stated, confirming the fact that he had been testing to see if I was being truthful.

"Fine. I just don't want to sleep, then," I grumbled, forcing my eyes to open again despite how heavy they felt to be.

"Why is that?" he asked, continuing to caress my temples in an effort to coax my mind into drifting off for the night.

"I just…don't want to go to sleep when it might be for the last time. I'd rather not be asleep when I enter eternal sleep," I said.

"I told you already that it won't be tonight. Don't you trust me?" he asked, actually sounding a bit hurt as he posed the question.

"I do! I trust you with my life! I just-" I started to reply swiftly. My swift words were brought an abrupt halt as my breath also was halting, hitching in my throat because the knot in my chest wouldn't allow it to pass. Although I knew no words would come out I still moved my mouth as though to speak. I stopped attempting to speak on, however, when Eaven's lips dropped onto mine, allowing him to blow a breath into my mouth.

The pain retreated, the tears receded, my breathing restarted, and Eaven removed his lips from mine, but I did not resume speaking. It had struck me just then that my mind hadn't blanked out this time. Was it because my thoughts had been about my death this time that they didn't flee my mind as that familiar fear that I might die arrived just before now? I could ask Eaven about it, but…there really was no point. Honestly, what use was it to know if, so long as my thoughts were about death, my mind wouldn't go blank when I thought I might be dying?

Having stopped caressing my temples when he moved to breathe into my mouth, Eaven now began kindly caressing all along my face. "Asm, you really must rest now. Staying awake all night will not make you feel any better. If anything, it will make you hurt only worse and more frequently. Please, close your eyes and rest your mind," he pleaded.

"…I will go to sleep if you will promise me something first," I said, speaking softly and only after a moment of thought.

"What do you wish me to promise?" he asked without even having to pause to think about it. He would probably promise me pretty much anything to get me to go to sleep. Or, so you might think. However, with how he asked what the promise was before he made it, it was clear that he would only promise what was actually possible and within his power to do for me.

Fortunately, what I wanted was fairly straightforward and simple. At least, I hoped it was. "I know you know on what day I will die, but do you know the time-the exact moment-when I will die?" I asked.

"….I don't. Not at this moment. However, as the moment draws nearer, I will know more and more precisely when it will be," he said.

"…Then, will you please promise to make sure I am awake for when it happens? I don't want to miss it," I said.

"…Tell me, Asm, why do you not want to be asleep when it happens? Most all humans wish to pass peacefully in their sleep. Why do you want to be awake for it?" he asked, seeming hesitant to make the promise now that he knew what it was.

"…It's a secret. I'll tell you when the moment comes. So, if you want to know why, you have to make sure I'm awake when the time comes for me to die," I replied.

There was a brief pause, and then he sighed, probably nodding his head in agreement as he did so. "Alright. I promise, I will make you wake up for it if you are asleep when the time comes," he promised.

"Thank you," I said. I closed my eyes, now pressing my hands together at my chest as I prepared to say the same prayer that I had made every night since I was a child. "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; angels watch me through the night, and wake me with the morning light. Amen," I spoke the prayer with a solemn face but a soft smile.

"Amen," Eaven repeated softly at the end.

"Good night," I said now, my eyes remaining closed as I laid my arms back down at my sides.

"Sleep well," he replied, resuming the kind caresses of my face that he had paused for the duration of the prayer, "Sweet dreams."



Six days passed after that promise was made. Though I still was reluctant to go to sleep every night after that, it was not because I feared missing my own death so much as I didn't wish to miss a single moment with Eaven. Though my body felt more weary as the days went by, I found myself staying up and talking later and later into the night with my companion. Tonight was no different. Midnight was just a short time away, yet still I was wide awake and wide-eyed.

Or, well, I was pretending to be, just so that Eaven would not suggest I go to sleep. It was actually quite a struggle to keep my eyes open and keep from yawning sleepily or sighing wearily. In an odd twist, the only thing that actually had kept a sigh or yawn from escaping me was how my breath hitched in my throat in that painful way every time the urge to yawn or sigh became irresistible.

Now was one of those times. A large yawn had worked up in the back of my throat and was forcing it's way out when my breath suddenly hitched. Tears sprang to my eyes, my mind blanking due to a great fear-it felt similar to the fear of death, yet it wasn't quite as simple as that. Honestly, I didn't know exactly what it was; just that it was different and more complicated than the fear that I had felt last six days ago. Ever since then, this unknown, unfamiliar fear had replaced it.

Eaven's mouth fell over mine not a moment too soon nor a moment too late. His breath was pushed into my mouth, down my throat, and into my lungs, pushing aside the painful knot in my chest as it went, as it always did. A relief at this brief extension of my life relieved my body of its tension, allowing my tears and the peculiar fear to recede for the time being. Only as a small feeling of tranquility came back to me did he remove his lips from mine.

"…You're beautiful, even on the very verge of death," he noted softly after he had pulled away.

"You're beautiful, even though you're not on the verge of death," I replied without missing a beat. A silence-not awkward, but not comfortable-followed my words. Had I said something wrong? Was I not allowed to say he was beautiful in return? Did he perhaps find insulting that I would make such a statement when I did not possess the powerful senses he had that allowed him to see without his vision?

Suddenly he was running his fingers through my hair, picking at and picking up my bangs thoughtfully. "You haven't had a haircut in a while. Your hair is almost to your shoulders now," he noted, using his usual vibrant voice now.

"I know I'm long overdue for one. I really don't feel like trying to keep my breathing steady enough to receive a haircut, though. It's too much of a hassle," I said, "Besides, I only ever got my hair cut because I don't want people saying how lovely I am with my pretty hair. Men are supposed to be handsome, not pretty or lovely or anything like that. It has occurred to me, though, that you always call me beautiful no matter how short or long my hair is; and you have been the one with whom I spend the most time for a long time now, so my appearance doesn't matter anymore."

"…I'm sorry, Asm. I cannot see "handsome" or even "pretty". I simply see "beautiful". All angels that are guardians are thus," he stated.

"Don't apologize. I'm not mad or blaming you. I-…Wait, you didn't say anything about "lovely". Can you see loveliness?" I asked curiously.

"I see everything as beautiful, as I said before. But I can…sometimes feel that something is more than just beautiful-that it is also lovely. However, it isn't the same as my "sight". It is merely an emotion triggered by that something," he explained in his regular passionate manner.

"Interesting… Can you give me an example of something that you have felt is lovely?" I asked now. He didn't respond immediately, either because he was trying to think up an example to give me or because he was trying to think up an excuse to give for not giving me an example.

Whichever way it was, he didn't need to come up with anything to give me other than a breath of air, because my breath caught in my throat just then. The tears came to my eyes just an instant before his lips came down on mine. This kiss of life was, as usual, a sweet relief that made the pain subside and the tears (and fear) recede. As he pulled back from me, for the first time ever I reached up and hooked my hand on the back of his neck, keeping him from sitting up but not keeping his lips against mine.

"I wish I could see your face right now. I imagine you must look all the more beautiful when you just staved off death, when you just saved a life," I said. I did not know where the words had come from, other than that they certainly had not come from my mind, which still was very blank from the moment just now, which I shall call a near-death experience for lack of a better term.

Again a silence followed my words. This time around, however, I was not worried that I had said something wrong. I did not mind if my statements were improper. I was glad I had said it; and I'd say it again in a minute, if given the chance, if provided with the opportunity. It was perhaps that he could sense this that made Eaven make his abrupt subject change. "You should go to sleep. You'll regret it tomorrow if you do not rest tonight," he stated.

"…Will I really?" I asked after a moment, deciding to allow his subject change the same this time as I had the last. Just because I would all too happily tell him he was beautiful again if given the chance did not mean I would force him to respond. He had the right to ignore it when I said he was beautiful, just as I had the right to ignore it when he said likewise about me, and just as I had done many countless times.

"You might," he replied simply. That was a peculiar reply. Though neither his voice nor tone were uncertain in any way, such a choice of words did display uncertainty.

"…Only might?" I asked after another moment. I released his neck now, allowing him to sit up.

"Maybe," he replied shortly. Alright, I was certain that such uncertainty meant something was up. Or, rather, that something was coming up, coming to an end. And I had the vague suspicion that that something was my time.

"…You haven't today said that today is not the day I will die," I said, trying to sound more thoughtful than suspicious.

"Oh? Haven't I?" he asked curiously, as though he hadn't realized until I pointed it out just now.

"No, you haven't," I said lightly, as though it didn't matter if he didn't say it.

"I apologize. I didn't realize I had forgotten to reassure you. Allow me to put you mind at ease by telling you that today is not your day to pass," he stated softly.

Well, there went that theory. I suppose I should be relieved that it wasn't yet my time. It was still a bit suspicious, though… "Alright. I'll go to sleep now," I agreed reluctantly, closing my eyes and I pressed my hands together over my chest, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; angels watch me through he night, and wake me with the morning light. Amen."



It certainly didn't feel like morning when I began to stir from my sleep. "…Is it daylight already?" I asked wearily, refusing to open my eyes yet, though it made no real difference whether they were opened or closed.

"….No. But it is morning. It's just a bit after midnight," Eaven said, one hand running through my hair and the other caressing my face all too kindly.

"Mmm… Why are you waking me, then? Is something wrong?" I asked. I now peeked one eye open as though to look up at him, despite being completely blind.

"No… Nothing it wrong. Now…is the right time, actually," he said softly.

"The right time for what…?" I asked, both of my eyes now opening. It was then that I felt a hand on my face that did not belong to Eaven. At the touch my breath immediately hitched in my throat and tears jumped to my eyes. I knew immediately what this meant. I should have known it the moment Eaven woke me up, really.

Suddenly, though, the unfamiliar hand was knocked off of my face by one of Eaven's hands as he leaned down and put his lips to mine. What I felt when he breathed a bit of life into me was not relief that I could feel the breath in my lungs, but shock that I could feel tears fall on my face. The tears were not my own, though. My tears had, as always, receded as soon as I received that breath. So the tears were Eaven's.

He pulled back from the kiss a bit later than he normally would, allowing his lips to linger on mine even after it became evident that the breath had been received successfully. "…He still has a few minutes left. You don't need to rush him," he whispered when he finally pulled back, a bit of a bitter tint to his tone.

I was curious as to who he was talking to. I mean, it was obvious there was a third person present, but I did not know who or what they were. "Who is "you"?" I asked.

"My name is Ilhad. I am a warden-or, as you humans probably would say, a "warden angel"," the other man stated.

"Actually, it seems that, among humans, an angel of your profession would be known as an "angel of death"," Eaven stated.

"Lovely," Ilhad stated flatly.

Now that I knew who this other person was, I was less interested in my imminent death and more interested in the tears that had fallen off of Eaven's face onto mine. "Eaven, are you crying?" I asked.

"…Heavens no!" he exclaimed after a moment of hesitation that was probably due to shock. I doubt he had realized a few of his tears had fallen onto my face during the kiss.

"I may be blind, but I'm not deaf. I can hear the tears falling down your face," I stated.

"Don't be daft. No human's senses are that keen," Ilhad said.

I opened my mouth to make a reply, but my breath hitched in my throat again just then. I could tell Ilhad had reached for me only because I heard Eaven smack the other's hand away just before he could touch me, even as he himself leaned down to give me another breath. More tears fell from my guardian's face to mine as he gave me the kiss and with it another brief extension of my life. "Not yet, Illhad. Asm is very curious. He'll want an explanation of what's happening as he passes before he passes," Eaven said as he pulled back from this most recent kiss.

"Make it quick, then. You're only prolonging his suffering by pandering to him," Ilhad stated none too happily and perhaps a bit harshly.

I could feel Eaven flinch at the other's words. Instinctively I reached up to touch one of the hands caressing my hair and face to let him know it was okay and that I preferred it this way. However, when I tried to put my hand over his, he instead took up my hand with his, bringing my hand up and putting it to his face so that I could feel the tears that streamed down and stained his cheeks.

"You are correct. I am crying," he admitted though it was not necessary, "It's not what you think, though. I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy…happy that your suffering is going to end soon. Angels can't cry out of sorrow, you know. We cannot weep. Only happiness can bring us to tears. Only joy can make us cry."

"That….That's nice to know. I think I'd have to cry if you were crying because you feel sad for me. It makes me feel better that you're only crying because you know I'm going to feel better soon," I said, offering up a smile, "….So, how exactly am I going to feel better? I mean, I can't imagine death is particularly pleasant. Not when being on the verge of death is so very unpleasant."

"That is actually where Ilhad comes in. While guardians like myself have the duty of extending a person's life until the time comes for it to end-whether that time be near or far in the future-the duty of wardens is to bring a person's life to an end, to bring them to death. While my breath can extend your life here for a short while and reduce the pain you feel, his breath will end your life here eternally and altogether remove the pain you feel," Eaven explained in his usual passionate, vibrant voice.

"It seemed to me that his touch alone has deadly side effects…" I said, throwing an uncertain glance in what I believed to be Ilhad's direction.

"Well, yes, with you… With people who are extremely close to death due to an irreversible illness or something of the like, just a touch from a warden can trigger death. However, as you've seen, that can be undone by a breath from a guardian. After receiving a breath from a warden, though, nothing can reverse the death triggered; although breaths from a guardian can continue to stall it for a minute or two at the most," he explained still quite enthusiastically.

"So if he were to touch me and you were not to give me your breath, I would die?" I asked.

"Yes. And it wouldn't be a painless one if I also were not to give you my breath. As a matter of fact, if I stop giving you my breath before your heart ceases beating, you will be in for a world of pain," Ilhad stated darkly, "Now, is your curiosity satisfied? I do have other suffering souls to attend to, after all."

"Ilhad, stop rushing him along!" Eaven snapped.

"No, it's alright," I said swiftly now, "I apologize. I didn't realize there were others waiting on you, Ilhad. If I had, I certainly wouldn't have thought my curiosity to be so dire."

"Well, at least one of you is being reasonable," Illhad stated, probably staring pointedly at Eaven as his words were obviously directed at the other angel.

Whether or not he sensed he was being stared at, Eaven paid no mind to the other. "Are you sure you're ready, Asm? There's more to tell-" he started to say. I kindly cut him off by moving my hand, which he had been holding to his cheek this entire time, to his mouth to press my fingers to his lips.

"I am sure. I know all I need to for now. I know all I want to for now. It's the right time," I said with a soft smile, my hand moving away from his mouth and around to the side of his head only after I finished speaking.

He nodded his head weakly, both of his hands moving to frame and lovingly caress my face. "Okay. Just remember, I'll be right here with you the entire time," he said, shifting ever so slightly in an attempt to make me more comfortable using him as my pillow than I had been all along.

I just continued to smile softly and stare blankly upward, preparing myself for what would come next. Though I had been hoping Ilhad might touch me (accidentally or purposely) before moving to give me his breath, he did not. So I had no idea which instant it was going to happen in until his lips were already upon mine. His lips parted my lips, and he released a breath of death into my mouth. Though my own breath hitched in my throat as always, the breath which he had given me still made it to my lungs because there suddenly was no knot of pain in my chest to prevent it from going by.

It was perhaps this lack of pain that allowed me to do what I did next. My arm shot up and shoved out, knocking the warden angel away from me. At the same time, the hand I had at the guardian angel's face pulled him down to me. Almost immediately after Ilhad's lips part from mine did Eaven's lips meet with mine. "Ah, Asm!" Eaven gasped past the unexpected kiss. His body instinctively moved as though to pull away, but he did not break the kiss.

I actually might have spoken before he did, except the instant that Ilhad stopped breathing into me a pain so powerful it was blinding-or, rather, as I was already blind, a pain that was so powerful it was muting-shot through me. Though the pain certainly did not leave after that, I was able to find the strength to speak past both the pain and the kiss. "I don't care if it hurts like Hell. I want the last breath in my lungs and the last lips over mine to be yours," I forced out the words.

"Ugh. So much for being reasonable," Ilhad muttered darkly to himself.

The response Eaven gave to my words was not a verbal one, coming in the form of a breath given to me from him. While said breath did undoubtedly put death off some amount, it didn't put off the pain in any amount. I didn't really pay it much mind, other than because this meant that my tears, for once, did not recede, instead plunging forth quite readily. But that was okay, since they weren't only tears of pain anyhow. I must admit, quite a few of them were so; but there was also some in there that were tears of joy.

Eaven's tongue followed a second gifted breath into my mouth, allowing me to have a glimpse of heaven and love for the first time in my life. I wanted so badly to just bask in the moment, but I could somehow tell that his next attempt to breathe a bit of life into me would prove futile. So, with that knowledge, I decided that I was going to tell him something I had felt all along, even if it was the last thing I would do.

"The blind leading the blind is an ugly sight to see, but the blind loving the blind seems to me to be the most beautiful sight I've never had the privilege to lay eyes on. I think I'm rather happy being unable to see it, though, since it is only because I am part of the sight that I cannot see it for myself," I said, struggling to get all of the words out with that single borrowed breath.

"I love you, too, Asm," he murmured in reply, not hesitating only because there was no time to spare, "And you're beautiful, even in the throes of death." Only then did my unseeing eyes close for the final time.



The next time my eyes opened I was shocked stiff momentarily by the sight that greeted me. Mind you, I wasn't shocked so much by the fact that my eyes had opened again as I was by the fact that I could see. "E-Eaven!" I exclaimed, sitting up, turning around, and throwing myself into him all at once.

Immediately he wrapped his arms around me, cradling me closely to his chest. "Asm, calm down. It's okay. You're okay. Shhh," he murmured, nuzzling my hair soothingly.

"Wh-What's going on? Why am I not dead? Why are you here. Why is Ilhad not here? Why can I see?" I asked, rushing my words out as though I still had only one breath left to speak with. As it were, though, I actually didn't feel short of breath at all. Though, I did feel a bit short physically. Eaven seemed to be a lot larger than he had felt to be before I miraculously had gained the ability to see.

"This is what I didn't have the time to explain before. This is why I didn't want Ilhad rushing you," he sighed in lieu of an actual answer, continuing to cradle me to his chest.

"What do you mean? What's happening?" I asked. Only now did I dare to glance around, trying to figure out if we were still in my room in the hospital. The place looked vaguely the same, in that everything was all blank and bland with no signs of personality. However, there was rather a lack of the atmosphere hospitals had. Hospitals (at least to me) seemed to have an air of doom and gloom. This room, though, seemed rather lively and warm, considering the previously mentioned lack of character.

"Your life on Earth came to an end, just as it was scheduled to. Now your life in Heaven may begin, also as it was scheduled to," he said.

Upon hearing this, some people might be filled with a sense of wonder. All that my eyes held as I turned my gaze back to Eaven, though, was a sense of horror. "Does this mean you're not going to be my guardian angel anymore?!" I asked, my voice containing just as much horror as my eyes did.

"Please don't panic. I'm still your guardian. I always will be. A guardian's duty to a soul does not end simply because that soul moves on from Earth and into Heaven. The only way a guardian's duty comes to an end is in the event that the soul they are in charge of is destroyed. Even if it falls into the hands of a demon or devil, the guardian still must attempt to reclaim the soul before it goes to Hell," he explained in his usual passionate, vibrant voice.

My horror swiftly subsided and I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God. I think I just almost died again, this time of a heart attack," I said weakly.

He chuckled softly, withdrawing one arm from around me only now and only so that he could caress my face. "Don't worry. It's not nearly so easy to die in Heaven as it is to die on Earth," he assured me.

"But it is still possible, as shown by the fact that I still need a guardian. Not that I'm complaining," I stated.

Now Eaven leaned down to nuzzle the side of my head and whisper my ear. "I won't allow you to die again. I won't allow you to fall ill ever again. I won't allow even so much as a single hair on your head be harmed ever again. I'll protect you, Asm," he whispered so very lovingly.

I let out an appreciative sound, nuzzling the side of his head in return. "Eaven….does being in Heaven mean I'm an angel now, too?" I asked. I probably should have just said "I love you", but my curiosity had gotten the better of me.

"Yes. You are a putto. All humans turn into putti when they come here. That's why they have to die on Earth, actually-so that they can be reborn as angels here. If they did not die first before coming, they would still be humans, and they would still be so very fragile," he explained.

"Putti…? What is that?" I asked.

"Hmm…you humans, I believe, most often mistakenly refer to them as cherubs or cherubim," he said, pulling back to look at me with a smile. Or, well, to allow me to look at his smile. So I was a cherub? Weren't cherubim-or, rather, putti those chubby-faced children?

As realization dawned on me, I abruptly pulled back from Eaven to look down at my own body. I was a child. My body was that of a slightly chubby little child. The reason Eaven seemed bigger to me now was not because my lack of sight had made me misjudge his (or my own) size, but because I was actually smaller than I had been before. "How long am I going to be like this?!" I asked, feeling a touch of terror as I turned my gaze back to my guardian.

"Well, it all depends upon your soul's rate of growth. The reason souls of humans must start off on Earth rather than in Heaven is because they need time to mature before they can be stable here. And each soul matures at an a different rate. Sometimes they take mere seconds on Earth to mature enough to come here, and sometimes they take over a century. The rate of maturity for each soul after they come her also is different-not just in that it differs from every other soul, but also that it differs from the time it took to grow on Earth," he explained still quite enthusiastically.

"….In other words…?" I asked.

"In other words, there is no way to know. It could take as little as a few months, it could take as long as several decades, or it could even take forever. Some souls simply do not grow beyond becoming mature enough to be in Heaven," he said.

"So I could be stuck looking like a child eternally?" I asked, horror again creeping through me.

Before said horror could get very far, though, Eaven staved it off by pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. "No matter what your appearance, you'll always appear beautiful to me," he murmured against my lips, only then pulling back from the kiss.

I couldn't help but blush, instinctively hiding my face in his chest so he couldn't tell. It didn't much matter, though. Not only because he couldn't see in the same way as I now could, but also since he could probably sense I was blushing anyway. I guess it didn't matter what sort of body I was in any more than it mattered what sort of health I was in. With or without the sense of sight, it was clear to see that I loved Eaven and he loved me, and that nothing was ever going to change that.