Camo Club : Series

"At what point, precisely, do two brain cells come together to form the thought that tells a person to use their violin as a weapon and swing it about like a baseball bat?" he asked. He was being perfectly serious. He honestly wanted to know what had gotten into me to make me do such a thing. Fortunately, I had a very good excuse—er, answer.

"At the point when the Camo Club tries to make a hostile takeover of the music room," I stated boldly. I then somewhat less boldly slid a glare in the direction of the members of said club.

"We were in need of a more tactical position to stage our attack on the Fashion Club. The music room was an appropriate location," the leader of the camo-clad group stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Except for the part where it's our club room," Lana, much like myself a member of the Music Club, stated.

"And the part where we beat you all to Hell with our instruments," Cory, another member of the Music Club, added.

"Hn. I don't see any of my club's members having to take off their shirts to get their injuries treated," the jerkoff returned with a smirk, his gaze directed at Cory and I. We were, unfortunately, the only two who had gotten wounded enough in the battle to have serious injuries and need a serious check up by the school' doctor.

"Speaking of which, shirt off, Ryan. I need to check you over like Cory," the doctor said, not-so-kindly jabbing me in the side. I jumped a little, then swiftly complied.

"Hey, there's ladi—oh, my," Lana started to protest, but she stopped short. There was an extremely long and awkward pause now as everyone just stared at me. I wasn't that badly beaten, was I? I looked down at myself, swiftly figuring out the problem. I didn't dare look up again after realizing the problem in question.

"At what point, precisely, do two brain cells come together to form the thought that tells a person to tattoo a music sheet across their torso?" the doctor asked. He was still being perfectly serious. He still what earnest in wanting to know what was going on in my head. Unfortunately, I had no excuse for that. Well, not a good one, anyways.

"Um...boys will be boys?" I suggested more than answered.

"Am I to assume by that reply that I will find more boys tattooed with music if I strip the rest of the male Music Club members?" he asked, still being quite serious in his questioning.

"No. I did this with a friend from another club," I mumbled.

"What? Who is obsessed enough with music to do that but not in the Music Club?" Cory butted in.

"A Gaming Club member. This music is the Super Mario Brothers theme," I mumbled. Cory and many members of the Camo Club immediately snorted, swiftly trying and just as swiftly failing to hide their laughter.

"...On second thought, I don't want to know what you were thinking when you did that. Anyways, your front looks fine, some bruises aside. Turn around," the doctor said.

Shortly after my wounds were tended, the principal, vice-principal, music teacher, art teacher, and photography teacher all burst into the school doctor's office. Thankfully, my shirt was back on by that time. "Oh, little brother!" shouted the art and photography teachers, jumping all over Cory. The other three recently arrived adults simply stood in the doorway, taking in the battered and bandaged club members.

"Please don't smother him," the doctor said with little care.

"Ow! Don't hug me! My chest is sore! Hands off!" Cory shouted, squirming pathetically in the embrace of his brothers.

"...Alright. Tex, what's the total damage?" the principal asked finally.

"Not so bad. Nobody put anybody's eye out. Just bumps and bruises, mostly. A couple scrapes. The worst are Cory and Ryan. Cory has the most lovely, long, and large cuts, gained by getting in a kick-boxing match with Jaush, who has ice cleats attached to his boots. I don't know what happened to Ryan—and neither does he—but he's got a nasty gash on the head and his back looks like someone tried to use him as a cork board," the doctor relayed the damage report calmly.

"Alright. Con, what's the total damage?" the principal asked, turning his eyes to the music teacher.

"Complete catastrophe," he stated, not even bothering to list the extensive damage we'd done to the music room and all the instruments.

"...Not alright. We're going to have to hand out some punishments," the principal said.

"You also need to hand out notes to send home to the parents," the doctor said.

"I hope you guys are forced to clean the locker rooms," I grunted lovingly in the direction of the Camo Club.

"That's a good idea, Ryan," the vice-principal said. Everyone stopped. Just stopped. And then slowly they looked at the vice-principal. And then slowly then looked at me. And then slowly they looked at the vice-principal again.

"It is?" I asked.

"Yes. It is. Only, it will be the Music Club cleaning out the locker room. Namely, the locker room designated as the Camo Club's club room. And the Camo Club shall clean up the Music Room," he said.



“I can’t believe this. This is stupid. Check that. This isn’t merely stupid, it’s also insane. Just like those camouflaged kooks,” I grunted.

“Here we are, the ones who got invaded and so badly wounded, and we have to clean up the home base of those military morons,” Cory added with a grunt of his own.

“Really, it doesn’t look like we have much cleaning to do. Those guys are pretty neat. In the clean kind of way, I mean,” Lana said, giving an appraising look around the locker room-turned-military base.

“I think we were given this supposed punishment more to keep us from fighting with the Camo Club while they’re fixing up the music room, rather than to actually punish us,” Hanna said, also looking around the place.

“Hmph. Either way, it’s stupid and insane. There’s no reason we should have to wait around here,” Cory grumped.

“Hell, I’ll bet those guys aren’t even cleaning. They got what they wanted: our music room. Probably right now, they’re setting up for their little tactical attack on the Fashion Club. They’re going to ruin our club room even worse than they already have. We should do the same to their’s,” I said,

Hanna rolled her eyes now, crossing her arms across her chest. “The one’s being stupid and insane are you two. Did you not notice Mr. Tilden didn’t come with us? That’s because he’s keeping an eye on the Camo Club, to make sure they put the music room right,” she stated.

Now I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms across my chest. “Now you’re being stupid and insane. Did you notice Temma didn’t come with us? That’s because he’s with Mr. Tilden, getting his brains fucked out,” I stated. Both of the girls let out little squeaks now and blushed furiously, Lana glaring angrily at me and Hanna staring embarrassedly at the far wall.

“Say, there’s an idea. I’m gonna go find Orrie,” Cory said, swiftly heading for the door.

“And I’m gonna go make sure those goons aren’t ruining our room,” I said, following after him.

“Hey! You can’t just leave!” Lana exclaimed.

“Sure we can!” Cory exclaimed.

“Don’t worry! Michel and Onno will stay to protect you girls from any camouflaged cockroaches!” I called over my shoulder. The girls either screamed furiously after us, or shrieked fearfully because they mistook my words to mean I’d seen a cockroach. Either way, they started making a lot of noise, making Cory and I glad that we were ditching them. “I can’t believe those girls are stupid enough to stay there, especially when there‘s no cleaning to be done,” I sighed, shaking my head sadly.

“I can’t believe those guys are stupid enough to stay there, especially when there’s those girls there,” Cory chortled, shaking his head, “I also can’t believe you got video game music tattooed on your chest.”

“I was out of my mind at the time,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck and blushing as I looked away.

“Intoxicated?” he asked.

“Sort of,” I said, still not looking at him.

“In love?” he asked.

“You might say that,” I mumbled, now looking directly down as I blushed harder.

“But not anymore?” he asked curiously.

“No, not anymore,” I sighed, shaking my head sadly.

“Aw, shucks, that sucks,” he sighed, shaking his head, “At least you’ve got the music to remember it by, though.”

“Please, don’t patronize me,” I said flatly.

“No, I’m serious. I mean, that’s like your song. I mean, every couple has a song, right? Your’s just happens to be a video game thing song. Sure, it’s a bit geeky, but it’s still really lovely. I wish Orrie and I had a song,” he said, offering up a smile. I only saw the smile because I only now dared to glance over at him.

I weakly returned the smile, nodding my head. “Yeah. Guess you're right. Anyhow, here’s my stop up here. Have fun with Orrie,” I said, averting my gaze and looking towards the music room.

“Have fun keeping those goons in line. If you need a hand, I’ll be in the art room, just a holler away,” he said, continuing on down the hallway.

I nodded my head again, opening the music room door. I stopped before going in, though, glancing down the hallway after my comrade. “Hey, Cory!” I hollered after him. He paused, glancing back at me. “Nothing’s stopping you from getting your own song! Just play something you’ll think he likes! If he gives a good reaction, that’s the one for you guys! That’s how I got mine!” I shouted, “Course, you don’t need to get it tattooed like I did!” I added as any afterthought.

With that, I ducked into the music room, my smile swiftly vanishing from my face as the sight that greeted me. “What happened here? What did you guys do?” I asked. I didn’t bother to hide my disbelief and shock as I began gapping around the room.

They all paused in their work, looking at me and then looking around at the room to try to see what had me so shocked. Finally, the bastard leader stepped forward and into my face. “We’re doing as we were ordered. We’re cleaning up the music room and putting it back in proper order. Are you not satisfied? If there’s something off, you need merely tell us, and we shall try to correct it if at all possible,” he said.

Wait, where was the part where he was a bastard? Where was the part where these guys were jerks? Why were they being so well-behaved, so well-mannered? Why were they being…being gentlemen? “Yeah, something’s off. What the fuck is with you guys? What, you always follow orders to a T? Why aren’t you taking over, when you have the prime opportunity to?” I asked, now directly my disbelieving and shocked (and rude) gapping at the leader alone.

“Of course we follow orders. We are the Military Club,” he stated.

“No. You’re the Camo Club. You’re more guerrilla than military. That’s kind of why nobody calls you the Miltary Club, school staff included,” I said, giving him an odd look.

“Is that how you view us?” he asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

“Hey, don’t make this a personal thing. That’s how the whole school views you. Just like the whole school views the Computer Club as a bunch of really scary, cult people. Or, well, until one of the members started going at it with that Baseball Club member in the hallway. But I digress,” I said.

“Hm…. So, in saying that, you are saying one of our club members needs to date another club’s member in order to show we have reformed,” he stated, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“No. Maybe. That’s not the point. You guys aren’t known to follow outside orders well, is my point,” I said, giving him the odd look again. Seriously, what was with these guys? Had they been drinking the floor cleaner or sniffing the wood polish or something?

“That settles it, then. You’re good enough at warring. You’ll be suitable,” he said, his hand suddenly moving from his chin to mine.

“W-What? What do you mean “suitable”? Don’t touch me, you military maniac,” I said, slapping away his had.

“I have to touch you. You’re my boyfriend now,” he stated, cupping my chin roughly now with both hands and dragging me against him.

“Are you nuts?! I am not! Get your hands off of me! I’ll report you to the principal!” I exclaimed. I grabbed onto his hands to try to pry them from my face. Before I got a chance, though, he suddenly released me.

“There’s no need to report me,” he stated. Apparently, I had chosen the right thing to say. Right after choosing the wrong thing to say, apparently.

“If you touch me again, I will! Now stop being insane and get back to work cleaning the music room! I’m going to go get Mr. Tilden, and when I come back, this room better be back in perfect working order!” I exclaimed furiously.

He stared at me for a beat, and then snapped to attention, saluting me even as he smirked. “Yes, ma’am. Your order is my command,” he barked out. I spent about a second glaring at him for calling me “ma’am”, and then I stormed off to find the teacher.



“You’re kidding, right?” Cory asked.

“No! First the freakazoid actually listened to me when I ordered him to have the room ready by the time I got back, then he bloody well started stalking me around! With all of his club members following him, too! Then I ordered him to get himself and his men out of my sight, so now they’re still stalking me, but every time I turn around they hide!” I exclaimed, not bothering to keep my voice down.

“Are you sure this is the same guy that was helping beat the living daylights out of you not an hour before he decided to make you his woman yesterday?” Cory asked, throwing an uncertain glance in the direction of the Camo Club.

“Well, it’s not like I’ve strip searched him to check for a barcode or a number or some sign that he’s a clone born in a test tube, but I’m pretty sure he’s himself,” I said, throwing an upset glance in the direction of the Camo Club.

“Say, now that’s an idea! I wonder if he has an identifying mark on his body anywhere? Not as large and obvious as your music sheet tattoo, of course, but still,” Cory said, eyeing the person in question in specific now.

I groaned, putting my hand to my forehead as I looked away. “Oh, please, tell me you don’t really want me to strip search him. He might get the wrong idea. More than he already has, I mean,” I muttered darkly.

“It’s really not that bad of an idea,” Lana said.

“Who asked you?” I asked, shooting her a glare.

“I’ll bet Dr. Tex would know if he has any identifying marks,” Hanna said.

“This is a private conversation!” I snapped at her.

“Which is why you’re talking loudly, in the middle of the cafeteria, where everyone is staring at either the Camo Club’s table or our club’s table, trying to figure out why they’re not eating their normal military rations in their home base or why they’re all staring intently at you,” Onno said, biting his lip to hide a smile.

“Would you butt out?!” I exclaimed.

“You know, I’m starting to really like the idea of strip searching him,” Cory said, still staring at the camo-clad creeps.

“You have a boyfriend. Stop thinking about Ryan’s boyfriend that way,” Lana said, lighting hitting Cory on the arm.

“He’s not my fucking boyfriend!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“So, then, you haven’t fucked him yet?” Cory asked.

“God, thanks a lot for the sympathy, guys! I’m so fucking glad I’m in the Music Club! You’re all so sensitive and kind when it comes to helping your fellow Music Club members! I hope you choke on this horrible cafeteria food!” I shouted, throwing my arms into the air and jumping up from my seat as I glared at them all.

“So, then, you haven’t fucked him yet,” Cory stated.

“Go fuck yourselves!” I screamed, storming off. Much to my great fury, the Camo Club in it’s entirety stood and stalked after me. And much to my great curiosity, the members one by one began to trail off as they followed after me. By the time I reached where I was going, there was only the one bastard that considered himself my boyfriend left stalking me.

I stopped in front of the room, staring at it stupidly as my mind momentarily left the jerk following behind me and flew to the jerk beyond the door just in front of me. “The Gaming Club is like the Camo Club, in that the members never come out to the cafeteria for lunch. They eat in their club room,” I said softly.

“You come here to hide in there with your friends, thinking I won’t come in?” the jerk asked from behind me.

“…No. I don’t doubt you would follow me in there. I won’t go in there, though. I don’t go in there, though,” I said softly, turning around now. I stared at him for moment. Then suddenly my view was blocked as he pulled his military cap off his head and put it on mine, pulling the cap bill down until it covered my eyes. “You don’t have to start claiming your territory. I just said I wasn‘t going in,” I said, pushing up the cap enough to peek at him from beneath it.

He stared at me for a beat, frowning very softly. “It’s not that. ….I was just giving you cover, because you looked like you were about to cry,” he said softly. Now I stared at him for a beat, blushing very softly. Swiftly then I pulled the cap back down and ducked my head, hiding the blush rather than any tears.

The sound of a door opening caused me to look up and over my shoulder, despite my blushing. The arched eyebrow and narrowed eyes I saw made me immediately look away, though. “Trying to make me jealous, Ryan?” he asked flatly.

“No, Rate, I would never try to do that,” I mumbled.

“But I would,” said my would-be boyfriend.

“And who would you be?” Rate asked.

“Copper Kane, First Lieutenant of the Military Club and Ryan’s current boyfriend,” he replied.

“Oh? Is that so? Well, I’m Rate Pelis, High Scorer of the Gaming Club and Ryan’s first boyfriend,” Rate returned coolly.

“And first ex-boyfriend,” Copper corrected.

“And I’m also the person he got that lovely tattoo on his chest for,” Rate stated.

“Oh? Is that so? I’m so inspired that your love was so deep you got matching tattoos. How deep is that, now? Skin deep, isn’t it?” Copper asked, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“I’m sure it’s deeper than you’ve gotten with him,” Rate replied with a growl.

“Well, if skin deep is as far as you’ve gotten, then I’m afraid your wrong. I’ve definitely touched him far deeper than anyone has before, and in a way no one else ever will,” Copper returned with a smirk.

“And that’s all nice and well, but we’ve got to go now!” I exclaimed, grabbing Copper by the hand and dragging him off. I didn’t trust him to stalk after me if I stalked off on my own. He didn’t seem to mind be dragged around by me, grabbing onto the hand holding his with a second hand to make sure I didn’t let go even when we’d left Rate and the Gaming Club’s club room far behind us.

Once we had left them far behind us, I immediately whirled around on him, attempting to and failing to remove my hand from both of his. “What the Hell was all that about just now?! What was that crap you were blurting out?!” I exclaimed, glaring at him.

“Nothing that isn’t true,” he stated.

“True or not, it’s damn skewed! The only way you’ve touched me deeper than him is by stabbing me with I don’t know what when we were fighting in the music room!” I snapped furiously.

“I didn’t say I’d touched you in a good way, just in a way deeper than him and in a way nobody else ever will again,” he replied matter-of-factly.

I smacked him straight across the face with my free hand. “Touch that, you asshole,” I said flatly.

He didn’t respond right away, merely staring off into thin air as he drew his mouth into a tight line. After a few moments, he slowly moved his gaze to me. “…What was that for?” he asked, his voice slightly strained. He sounded like he was trying very hard to remain calm and not hit me back.

“For declaring yourself my boyfriend, stalking me around, and then embarrassing me in front of my ex-boyfriend by acting like I’m some sort of competition between you two,” I stated.

“Only the one slap for all of that?” he asked.

“If I hit you more than once, you’ll hit me back,” I said simply.

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

“It’s always like that when couples fight. The one side gets mad and hits the other. But the other never does anything for the first hit. If the mad one hit’s the other again, though, then they start really fighting,” I said simply.

He stared for a beat, and then suddenly released my hand only to grab my face. I flinched, but didn’t manage to escape before he could grab me and drag me to him. He stopped just short of kissing me, suddenly frowning. I would have asked him why he was frowning, except I was still fearing the impending hit. “….Why did you flinch?” he asked softly.

“Aren’t you going to hit me?” I asked.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I hit you,” I said.

“Only once,” he stated.

“So?” I asked.

“You yourself just said the other only hit’s the mad one if hit at least twice,” he said.

“You could be the exception to that. You’re violent enough. You’re insane enough,” I said. Probably I shouldn’t be saying such things, since I was so afraid of being hit right now. Of course, if I really didn’t want to be hit, I shouldn’t have hit him in the first place.

“I would never hit you,” he said softly.

“…You beat the shit out of me just yesterday,” I stated flatly, my stare as flat as my tone.

“That was before we became a couple,” he stated.

“Okay, see, I’m struggling with that couple thing still. How did we even become a couple? I mean, I know it was because you’re trying to make a tactical move to make your club look better, but how is it practical to use me for that? Shouldn’t you choose someone who isn’t a member of the club you had a miniature war with just the day before? Maybe I’m just missing some big, military intelligence thing here, but that seems kind of…stupid,” I said.

“It’s not practical, nor tactical,” he stated.

“Then why me?” I asked.

“I like you,” he stated.

“Since when?” I asked.

He stared for a beat, and then suddenly released my face only to grab my shirt. He curled his fingers tightly into the fabric for a moment, then slowly spreads his fingers wide. “…Since you yelled down the hallway to your comrade in arms about finding your song. …No, actually, it was before then, too. When the medical officer first made you remove you shirt, revealing your song. You didn’t explain it at all, but I just knew what it meant,” he said softly, his hands slowly trailing down my torso, as though he could see the tattoo right through my shirt.

“…So, you liked me because I lost my mind while with another guy and got “our song” tattooed on my body,” I said, still giving him the flat stare.

He shook his head softly, his hands slowly working back up my torso as his eyes slid slowly up to my face. “No. I like you because something so simple and miniscule came to mean so much to you, just because a person you once loved, loved that little thing,” he said softly, “It shows that even if his love for you was only skin deep, your love for him was enough for you to give your body to him.”

“We didn’t have sex,” I said quickly.

“I didn’t mean sex. I meant something deeper, something more than just that. Even if you didn’t make love, you displayed love. I found that fact very….intriguing,” he said, still speaking so very softly as he locked gazes with me.

I held his gaze for only a brief moment, then swiftly tore my eyes away, ducking my head to hide beneath the cap he‘d put on my head before. “…Huh. Well, it still confuses me a little, but I guess it makes sense. I still can’t understand it, but I get it,” I mumbled.

He didn‘t respond right away, waiting a moment or two as though to let that subject go to rest. “Can I now?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“What do you need my permission for?” I asked, not looking up at him.

“I want to kiss you, but last time you flinched,” he said simply.

Now I looked up at him, my blush making a return. “That’s what you were going to do before?” I asked stupidly.

“Yes. I was really happy that you finally referred to us as a couple, so I thought I would kiss you. You flinched, though, so I couldn’t,” he said.

“You’re being weird again,” I muttered, again looking down to hide my blush.

“How so?” he asked.

“You keep switching between being a jerk and being a gentleman. I can’t tell which one you really are,” I mumbled.

“I’m both. Can I kiss you now?” he asked.

“Are you going to kiss me like a jerk or like a gentleman?” I asked.

“Jerks don’t kiss, only gentlemen do,” he replied.

“…Oh. Okay. You can kiss me, then. If you turn into a jerk afterwards, though, I’m hitting you again, whether or not you’ll hit me back,” I said. Without responding and without warning, he suddenly curled one of his hands into my shirt again, the other hand flying up to hit the bill of his cap and knock it right off my head as he dragged me into a kiss.

I didn’t complain or hit him back, even after the kiss ended. Though his actions had been a bit rough, that was undoubtedly a gentleman’s kiss, because the kiss itself was the most gentle, sweet thing I’d ever felt. “How do I get you to kiss me like that again?” I breathed not a moment after our lips had parted.

“You order is my command,” he stated softly.

“In that case, why don’t you show me what else a gentleman can do?” I purred.

He stared at me for a beat, then all at once released me and bent to retrieve his cap. I stared at him in confusion now, wondering what he was doing. Pulling his military cap on securely as he straightened up, he all at once snapped to attention, saluting me even as he smirked. “Yes, ma’am. Your order is my command,” he barked out. I spent about a second glaring at him for calling me “ma’am”, and then knocked his cap right back off again as I dragged him into a kiss much less gentlemanly than the one he’d started. He most certainly didn’t complain.