Gaming Club : Series

"That's not a word," he stated flatly. This was perhaps the sixth time he had said that.

"Yes, it is," I replied just as coolly as I had the first five or so times he had denied that my word choice was correct.

"That's not a word," he repeated flatly. Seven times now. He wasn't going to give up.

"Yes, it is," I repeated in reply. I wasn't giving up, either. And I certainly wasn't going to lose my cool.

"What the Hell game are you two childish pains in my ass arguing over now?" came a grunt from across the room from our leader. It looked like he was the one who was going to be losing his cool, if we kept so flatly and coolly arguing.

"Grammar Nazi, trial version 3.5. Ezmette is saying that the word I loaded in my gun to shoot the Spelling Queen Bee in level four is not an actual word. But clearly it is a real word, as the spell-checking safety on my gun that I got from the Word Processor Professor in the NPC interaction scene after level two didn't lock after I loaded to prevent me from firing," I stated, my words as cool as ever, even as I shot my gaming partner a glare.

"The spell-checking safety runs off the encoded dictionary included in this new trial version of the game. For all I know, you added a bunch of entries that aren't real words when we were doing the tweaking from version 3.0 to version 3.5," Ezmette stated flatly, returning my glare in full.

"You two are never going to be able to finish the trial version of that game and release the final version if you're constantly accusing each other of cheating. You're supposed to be partners not only when working on the game but also in-game, and yet to seem to be more like rivals," our leader sighed, hitting a few buttons to bring an end to his own game on his computer as he rose from his seat, "Here, I'll play one of you. Who is giving up his controller?"

I immediately dropped my controller. I wasn't the only one, though—Ezmette did, too. Actually, everyone in the room immediately dropped or stopped what they were doing, turning away from their respective consoles, computers, card games, and even board games to look at him with shock. Rate Pelis, the leader of the Gaming Club, had not played a single game that was not of his own creation in over two years. To have him offer to play the game which Ezmette and I were currently pursuing as our main project simply because we were arguing was, to say the least, an extreme shock.

"Well?" Rate asked, arching an eyebrow at us both. Either he was oblivious to the extreme shock the entire club had been overcome with, or he was trying to play it off. Whichever it was, I wasn't about to let this opportunity slip through my fingers just because it was a little unanticipated.

"Ezmette volunteers to give up his controller!" I declared, raising my hand as I spoke and then pointing to my partner.

"What?!" Ezmette exclaimed, giving me a disbelieving look like he couldn't believe I had just volunteered him. He was nuts if he thought I was going to volunteer to give up my own controller. Not that it wouldn't be an honor to do so for our amazing leader, but it was a much larger honor to be able to play a game of my creation with him! ...Especially considering I was the last person he had played with when the game wasn't of his own design.

"That works for me," Rate said simply, brushing his bangs back as he moved over to stand next to Ezmette's game chair in a silent demand that the other boy give up his chair, controller, and character. If it were anyone else, my partner would've refused to budge. As it was our beloved leader, however, he rose swiftly, pausing first only long enough to pick up his dropped controller so that he could personally hand it to Rate.

Rate accepted the controller with a nod, then lowered himself into the game chair my partner had previously been seated in. Like a fool, I simply sat there in my own game chair, staring over at him with awe. This was real. This was no game. He was really going to play this game—to play my game with me! He was finally putting an end to whatever secret promise he had made to himself to not play any games he hadn't had a hand in creating!

...Okay, so he probably hadn't actually made some super-secret promise to himself like that. But there had to be some reason behind that decision he had made so long ago; and, whatever that reason may be, he was finally putting it aside to play my game and to play with me! This was monumental! This was stupendous! This meant so, so much to me! I had been trying so hard for so long to create a new game which could capture his interest enough to make him want to play!

"If we're going to play, you should unpause the game, Aiya," Rate stated, snapping me out of deliriously delighted daze.

"Ah, right! But, um, do you need me to explain anything to you first? I mean, are you fuzzy on any of the details Ezmette and I presented you with in our initial proposal for this game, or any of the details from the tweaking we've done thus far?" I asked with a laugh that wavered between nervousness and giddiness. I really hoped the laugh didn't sound as weird to everybody else as it did to me. They might begin to think I'd been staring at the television screen too long.

Even as obsessed as all of our club members were with gaming, we were very aware that there were limits to how long one could continuously play a single game before they began to act a bit loopy. The last thing I wanted was for Rate to decide, for my own good, that Ezmette should play him instead. "Actually," Rate said, again snapping me out of my thoughts, "I am a bit fuzzy on the controllers. Ezmette and you designed them yourselves specifically for this game, correct?"

"Well, yes, but they're compatible with any game! The only real reason we had to specifically design them for this game because we needed to add the miniature keyboard," I said, tapping my thumbs against the keyboard in question, which took up the majority of the main body of the controller, "We felt it would allow for gameplay to be faster and smoother if you had an actual keypad to type with, instead of using the joystick to select letters from an on-screen alaphabet selection as one normally might in the parts of games that require spelling out something, such as selecting a character name."

"Yes, a large part of the game involves spelling, so it's more convenient for you to have a keypad to work with," he stated, nodding his head in understanding as he ran his thumbs over his own controller's keypad.

"People these days are quite used to typing on the keypads of their cell phones and other electronic devices, too, so it's not as though it requires them to do a function they are unfamiliar with," Ezmette chimed in. I shot him a glare form the corner of my eyes, but said nothing. I couldn't really complain if he wanted to help explain, considering the game was half his.

"Right. We also relocated the shoulder buttons that are usually at the top of the controller, R1 and L1, down to the face of the controller to the sides of the keypad. Having them flanking it promotes less strain of the hands, as well as makes it far less likely that one will accidentally press any of the keys on the keypad when reaching for the buttons prementioned. On the left grip just above where you hand is positioned we have opted to use a trackball in place of either a joypad or a joystick. The customary action buttons are on the opposite grip, and our option buttons of choice, Menu and Pause, are with the keypad in place of the Alternate and Control buttons you might find on a regular keyboard," I explained.

"Quite impressive. You'll be selling combination game-controller packages along with selling the game by itself come the school carnival, won't you?" Rate asked curiously.

"Of course we will! We actually already sent the controller design to the usual company the club contracts to produce gaming equipment of our own design a week ago! In just another week, we'll have fifty of these babies ready to sell!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"I still think we should have ordered 100 controllers. They were offering a 5% discount if we did," Ezmette stated.

"Well, it doesn't matter how many controllers you have, if you don't have any copies of the game to go with them. So let's get to playing this sucker," Rate said with a chuckle and smirk.

"Alright! The word the Spelling Bee Queen challenged us with before the whole argument broke out was "comestibles". To shoot her, we have to pick a synonym and load it in our rifle. If we pick a word that turns out not to be a synonym, we miss. If we pick a word that turns out to be an antonym, we literally end up shooting ourselves in the foot. And if we both pick the same word, we end up shooting each other, so you always have to tell your partner what you're loading with," I stated.

"Okay, so what word did you pick?" he asked.

"Eatables," I answered without missing a beat.

"And that isn't a word," Ezmette interjected sharply.

"Actually, it is. Eatable means the same as edible. Just people don't use that word and it's related word forms as often, since it sounds so unintelligent," Rate stated, "I'm loading with "edibles", by the way."

Oh, great, now I felt just great! My own leader had practically called me unintelligent just now! I could hear Ezmette struggle to stifle his snickering. Looks like he hadn't missed the unintentional insinuation just now, either. "Looks like you were incorrect, partner," I shot snidely, letting him know that he came off seeming equally unintelligent for not even having known that word was truly a word. He was successfully able to stifle his snickering now, likely because he quite suddenly did not feel nearly so amused.



Some hours later—many hours after most clubs had ended their activities for the day—Rate and I were still playing that game. And, actually, aside from my partner, we were the only Gaming Club members still at school. "Hey, Rate, Aiya, I'm heading out for the day. As thrilling as it is to watch you two try to finish all 130 levels in one run, I've got to get home and make dinner. My sis and I drew straws for who had to make it tonight at breakfast, and I pulled the short one," Ezmette said, giving off what was half a sigh and half a yawn as he shoved up from the game chair he'd dragged over to sit on between us as the number of members present had dwindled.

"Huh? Okay. Leave the notepad here with me. I'll take mental notes on how to improve the game while playing and write 'em down between levels," I said, gesturing to the floor beside my own game chair with my chin to point out where he should leave said notepad.

"Put Tasha's game chair back where you got it from before you go, too," Rate added.

"Will do," Ezmette said. He did as our leader had told him to first, dragging the game chair back to the station of the female gamer. Once he'd done that he came over to me, leaning down to set the little notepad down. However, instead of simply laying it on the ground as I had instructed, he instead chose to shove it firmly between my legs, practically shoving his hand between them as well to accomplish this.

This action caused me to almost misspell the word I had been loading my gun with just now. "Yo! Yow! Watch your hands! What're you putting it there for?!" I snapped, swiftly shooting him a glare before returning to preparing my word-bullet of choice. Naturally, my exclamations drew Rate's attention away from the game momentarily.

"If I put it on the floor, you'll forget. You can't forget if it's there, though," Ezmette stated matter-of-factly as he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

"I wouldn't forget! I'd like to shove this up your ass, you asshole! At least warn a guy, next time! Check that! Don't let there be a next time! I don't want you shoving anything between my legs in the future, got it?!" I shouted over my shoulder as he retreated.

"I'll make a note of that," he replied, sounding like he was smirking as he opened the door, waving over his shoulder at me, "See you tomorrow." He switched from waving over his shoulder to flipping me the bird just before he closed the door behind himself. Despite the fact that he was now gone, I was pissed off enough to aim my own bird in the direction of the door.

Once I had vented through a little vigorous middle-fingering at the door, I turned my attention back to the game. Or, I would have, but I noticed that Rate was paying absolutely no attention to the game, instead staring at me blankly. "....What? It's not like you've never seen us cursing, shouting, and making rude gestures at each other before," I said. Not the most brilliant defense, but it was true.

He stared at me a moment more, then shrugged as he turned his gaze back to the game and finished loading his weapon. "Ready to shoot?" he asked.

"Locked and loaded," I said in way of answer. We both pushed the trigger button....and our both of our characters promptly shot each other. Oops. We'd forgotten to make sure we hadn't loaded with the same word.

Now we were both just sitting there in silence, staring at the screen in a sort of stupor. "...Perhaps we actually should consider saving the game for the day and saving the rest of the game for another day," Rate said finally.

"I suppose so. But, hey, we made it through 76 levels without error until now," I said, offering up a smile as I hit the Menu button and saved our progress.

"Yeah. Until now," he agreed, shoving up from his seat and heading over to the television and game console as he began to wind up the controller cord. He didn't smile back at me. He didn't look happy at all. He didn't sound happy, either. Was he mad that we had messed up? Was he mad at himself for forgetting to check his word choice against mine? Was he mad at me for not remembering to compare our words when I was the damned designer of the game?

I rose from my seat, letting the notepad fall to the ground as I moved over to where he was, winding up my controller cord as well. The instant I came over, he put a twist tie on the cord of his controller to hold it together even though he wasn't yet done winding it up, then swiftly moved to put the game chairs away. Crap. He was mad at me. Oh no. This was how he had acted the last time he had played one of my games with me.

Don't tell me this meant he was going to go on another strike and not play any games designed by others for another few years! He was going to graduate this year! I wouldn't get a chance to get him to play one of my games again if he went on this strike or whatever it was! "So!" I blurted out suddenly, whirling around and moving to help him put my game chair away, "So, do you want to play another game?"

That made him pause, a bit of surprise momentarily coming to his face at my suggestion. "...What other game would you want to play?" he asked. He didn't ask why. No member of the Gaming Club would ever need a reason given to play a game, even if they had just finished with one. We were always up to playing a game. It really just depended on what the game was whether or not we actually would play it.

"Um, weeeeell....." I said, drawling out the word as I looked around as though an idea might just be lying around. And there was. Right there, sitting upon the game-slash-workstation shared by the only two female members of the Gaming Club, was an idea. "Press T for Truth!" I declared, pointing over to the idea that had caught my eye.

Rate glanced over, his gaze following to where my finger pointed to find the lime green and lemon yellow checkered electronic device. "That's Tasha and MiQueen's project for the school carnival this year," he stated.

"Yeah! They've got it pretty much finished, but they haven't been able to get anyone in the group to play it with or for them to help them test it out! Nobody in the group wants to play it because it's such a stereotypical girl game!" I said as I moved over to the girls' station.

"If I recall correctly, you're one of the "nobody" that called it that and declined the offer to help them test it," Rate said, arching an eyebrow at me and shoving his hands in his pockets as he followed me across the room at a slow, casual pace.

"Um...yeah...no... I mean, I....just kind of didn't...want to play around....everybody. Er, with so many people around, that is...." I said, admitting this with much sheepishness.

"Why not?" he asked, removing a hand from his pocket to reach up and thoughtfully tap the large, circular button with a T on it at the base of the game that served as the On/Off button, "This game is supposed to be a less-embarrassing—and, some might say, less-daring—alternative to Truth or Dare. It not only removes the option of daring a person, but also removes the human aspect from the asking of questions. It chooses a random question from the thousands that were pre-input into it's memory, with the only factor of what it chooses being whether you press the Male or Female button when it prompts you for your gender before picking a question for you. It's supposed to make it easier to play such a game, even with a large group or with strangers."

"Y-Yeah, I know, but....sometimes truths can be more embarrassing than dares...and the girls refused to tell anyone even one of the thousands of questions they put into it. Even if they promise it doesn't have any questions to ask that are too embarrassing, the truth is that they could have put any kind of question into it's memory," I said weakly, "I'm not saying it isn't a great game—I think they'll sell tons come the carnival—but it's just not something I'm comfortable with."

He had moved on to thoughtfully running his fingers over the Male and Female buttons as I spoke, but his hand fell away from the game and to his side when I finished. "....What..." he asked slowly, his eyes rising up from the game to my face, "...secret are you afraid to share with even your fellow club members, yet you fear might be brought out by some question the girls put into their game?"

My own gaze swiftly fell away form his face and down to the game at that question. "It's not a matter of secrets, it's a matter of privacy. Like I said, that game could have any kind of question in it. For all we know, it'll ask something like if you ever wet the bed when you were little or if you ever farted loudly in a public place. Stuff like that, it's embarrassing and also something private that you really shouldn't need to share with anyone whom isn't family," I stated, feeling a bit...not angry, but mildly miffed.

"You don't consider the club as your family?" he asked.

"Of course I do! You know I do! I've told you guys I do before! But I mean like close family! I do consider the club family, and I do consider myself close with everyone, but it's still different. Take Ezmette, for example. He's less like a sibling and more like a crazy cousin or lunatic uncle. You don't share private things with relatives that are like that, no matter how much you care for them," I stated, looking back up at Rate now to see if he understood what I was saying.

Though he did look like he was considering my words, I couldn't tell if I was getting through to him. After a moment, though, a soft smile came to his face. "Alright. I understand why you would feel uncomfortable playing such a game with the other club members," he stated, turning around to turn the game on, "And I'm happy to know you aren't uncomfortable playing it with me," he added.

Only now, at that additional statement of his, did I blush. Crap. Truth be told, I was uncomfortable with playing the game with him. Highly uncomfortable, actually. However, I just enjoyed being able to play with him so much that I was willing to play any game, even if it made me uncomfortable. "So, who is going to go first?" I asked, pulling MiQueen's chair over before plopping down in it.

"Well, seeing as you've already had to admit a truth before we even began the game, I'll go first," he said. Hitting the green T button and then the blue button that had a small figure of a male on it, he leaned forward slightly to read the question that came onto the blue lit LCD display on the front of the game. "Have you ever stayed out past your curfew (midnight if you have no curfew)?" he read aloud for my benefit, "I have no curfew, but I have stayed out past midnight on several occasions."

"Ha ha, I actually already knew the answer to that one, considering at least some of those times were during the club's 24-hour and 48-hour Game-A-Thons," I said with a grin.

"And especially considering we got so competitive during that one 48-hour one that we actually played for damn near 72 hours straight," he replied with a grin of his own, "We'd have made it to 72 hours, too, if the prince hadn't discovered us and dragged all our asses to our last classes of the day."

"He didn't drag all of us to our last class, remember. Some members had admitted defeat and gone to sleep before we were found out. They got to go sleep in the doctor's office," I recalled for him.

"Yeah, but then they had to spend the club hours after school in Homework Club, while we who remained awake until the very end were just forced to go home," he pointed out.

"Really? I didn't know about that. Nobody mentioned anything of that to me," I said, cocking my head to the side curiously.

He shrugged, turning back to the Press T for Truth game. "Well, I suppose I was told simply because I'm the club leader. And it was the prince who told me. The next day he gave me a list of those he'd held in the Homework Club the prior day. Warned me that the next time we skipped classes to play games, all of our club members would have their names on the list, including me," he said as he shoved the game across the desk to me, "Your turn."

"I don't have to press the T button? Just the Male one?" I asked. Before I touched anything, I wanted to double-check the information I though I remembered the girls telling me when they had tried to get Ezmette and I to help them test it out.

"No, you need to press T. Just don't hold it down. Holding it down is how one turns the game off and on," he stated. Good thing I had double-checked first.

"Ah, right, thanks," I said, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck before reaching to hit the T and Male buttons, respectively, "Let's see, it asks... "Have you ever lost a game?" Leave it to them to sneak a question or two about games in, eh?"

"Well, being female doesn't make them any less dedicated to gaming. I wouldn't have let them in the club if they weren't as crazed and crazy as the rest of us, after all," he replied with a chuckle, "And you don't have to answer, since, considering you're the title-holder of the "Universally Unbeatable Gaming Champion" title, I already know you've never lost a single game in your life."

"I may be unbeatable when it comes to games where there are decided winners or losers, but I've still yet to beat the high score you have on even one of the single-player games where scores are kept, oh High Scorer of the Gaming Club," I said, chuckling as well.

"Just because you've not beaten my scores doesn't mean you've been beaten by me. You're still unbeaten. And I doubt that is ever going to change," he said lightly.

"You still think that? I've told you before and I'll tell you again now, my luck in gaming will change eventually. Nobody can go on perpetually unbeaten their whole life. I'm going to lose a game sooner or later," I said.

"You still think that? Even though you haven't yet lost a game since we first had this discussion two years ago when you came to the school and joined the Gaming Club?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

I sighed, looking away as I tried to think of a way to reply without sounding like I was disrespecting him. "...Listen, Rate, I know you tell us all that to win we have to know we're going to win, but you and I both know a person can't win every time, no matter how skilled nor lucky they are. I just want to be mentally prepared for when I finally do lose something, that way I won't lose my cool when I do and be a sore loser or anything," I stated softly yet sternly, "Besides, how can you say I'll never lose when you yourself came so close to beating me at my own game back when I first joined?"

"Is that what this is about?" he asked. That drew my gaze back to him real fast. What did he mean by saying that? "It may have been a game of your own design, but it was the very first video game you'd ever created, so it's only natural I would be able to figure out the tactics necessary to beat you at it. You should just consider yourself lucky I didn't figure them out earlier in the round, or I'd have enacted the tactics sooner and actually won," he stated.

"It's not about that!" I exclaimed as I rose to my feet, "I will admit, at the time I was extremely distressed that I'd almost lost; and, had I actually lost the game, I'm sure I would have lost it! That is what made me decide I should prepare myself for the day I finally do lose a game, though! So I'm not upset about that time!"

"You're not upset, you say? You're sure acting awfully upset," he said, looking somewhat upset himself as he also rose to his feet.

"Well, I'm upset now, but only because you're insinuating that I'm such a sore almost-loser that I'm still upset about that time after all this time!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air in a rather useless gesture that served little purpose other than to vent a small portion of my present frustration.

"I'm not trying to infer any such thing! I just don't think a single near-loss should make you feel that an actual loss and possibly multiple losses in the future is inevitable!" he exclaimed right back at me. Clearly he was also beginning to grow frustrated.

My frustration was still growing as well, and I continued to make useless gestures with my arm which I hoped, when combined with my shouting, would vent said frustration. "As the club leader and my elder, shouldn't you be trying to encourage me in this sort of thinking?! I really don't think it's helpful for you to basically be telling me to think like an egomaniac that thinks he's invincible! Don't you think it would help me grow as a person more if, instead of making it sound like you think I'm a sore loser, you said something like "winning isn't everything"?! Well, don't you?!?" I partially suggested, partially demanded, and entirely shouted.

"Do you think I don't think winning isn't everything?! I have told all of the members of the Gaming Club, including you, that it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game! So you should know that's how I feel about that issue! But, as you yourself pointed out, I also always say that to win you have to know you're going to win! The only way your losing is inevitable is if you think it is!" he shouted back, actually getting in my face at this point. I will admit, it sort of made me anxious to have him shouting in my face, but I wasn't about to back down.

Inevitability aside, I didn't want to lose an argument anymore than I wanted to lose a game. Which was my next point. "It's not like I'm admitting defeat or just going to give up or anything! It's just that I want to keep my head level now so I won't lose my head when I finally lose a game! And don't just say that I won't lose if I don't think I won't! If thinking you were going to win was really all it took to win every game every time, then there'd never be any losers other than the unconfident! Don't say that's your point, either, because I'm not unconfident! I'm just realistic!" I shouted, "And, for another thing, you may have told the whole club including me that winning isn't everything, but you never told just me that you feel that is true!"

I expected for Rate to immediately retaliate, but, surprisingly, he didn't. Though he didn't look particularly startled by my words, I could tell he had stopped to think about what I'd just said. "...You would believe me more if I spoke just to you rather than to the whole group?" he asked finally.

Suddenly my frustration with him didn't feel so overwhelming. Now it simply felt....well, just frustrating. "I...I'm not saying that I don't believe you believe your own words. It's just that things sometimes mean more when said privately, rather than publically. It helps a person's confidence if you take them aside on occasion to reinforce something you may have already told them before, or even to tell them something you've not said to them prior to then. That's not to say I don't have confidence in myself or in you, though, just so you know," I stated.

For a moment he just stared at me in silence, his gaze slowly sliding down my body. When he was basically just staring straight down, he grabbed one of my hands, holding it up and turning it over to inspect it both visually and physically. "I know that it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game. ...I also know that you are not actually incapable of being beaten," he stated softly, pressing one of his thumbs against mine and beginning to wiggle them both, "...I realized both of those things for the first time at the exact same time."

Unlike him, I was very obviously startled by his words, and I couldn't stop myself and think about them before I spoke again. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, the time I almost beat you...I could have. It was not just that there was the possibility that your luck might run out, but I actually would have been able to take you out. I intended to at first, truthfully. When I started winning, though, I...had noticed that you were reacting...differently to losing than most do. You were not getting frustrated like everyone else in the club does—like I myself do—when losing, you were getting upset, like one might expect a girl would," he said softly.

"At first I did simply think, as you suggested, that you were just a sore loser. ...But then I got to thinking about how you had not only had no experience with losing, but this was the first video game you had ever created—a monumental and meaningful step for any gamer. I know from experience that it hurts quite a bit when you lose at your own game, and if it were also the first time a person had ever lost any game at all.... I couldn't bring myself to do that to you. So, instead, for the first time ever, I intentionally did not give my top performance when playing a game," he stated.

He ceased wiggling our thumbs together now, but did not stop pressing his thumb against mine. "In other words, for the first time in my life, I felt that winning was not the most important thing for me to do. Yes, I had already know winning wasn't everything, but I'd still always done my best to win. That was the first time that I had felt how I chose to play the game was more important than whether I won or lost; and I chose to let you win, because keeping from upsetting you was more important to me than winning and even just doing my best to win," he said, his gaze rising up to my face as suddenly his hands fell away from mine.

This time, while the affect his words had on me was still obvious, it was different. This time I was stupefied, not startled. I stared at him in a stupor, hardly able to process his words even though I had stopped to think about them this time. "....You....You allowed me...to win...? You could've beaten me..." I muttered, more thinking aloud as I struggled to comprehend his words than speaking to him.

"I did. And I could've. But I didn't," he stated simply in reply.

Rate replying to words that weren't actually directed at him snapped me out of my stupor—and hit the Unpause button on my frustration so that I was overwhelmed by it anew. "You could've beaten me, but you didn't?! Just because it was my first video game and would've been my first time losing!?! I can't believe you would do that! Knowing that now doesn't make me any less upset than I would have been if you had just beaten me back then!" I shouted.

"How could you?! Not only were you disloyal to yourself by not playing at your full potential, but you were disloyal and dishonest to me by deceiving me of my own limitations! You've done us both a disrespect not because you allowed me to win or allowed yourself to lose, but because you didn't allow yourself to play as well as you can! You're the leader and highest scorer of this club! You should know better than that! You didn't do it more than the once, I should hope!?" I shouted even more, adding the last part almost as an afterthought.

"Of course I didn't do it more than the once! Not wanting to have to do something so...so indecent twice is why, after that day and up until today, I've not played any games not of my own creation! I didn't know for sure that I wouldn't make that very same decision if put into the same situation with you again, so I decided I couldn't play anyone else's games at all, since I could not simply accept the offers of others to play their games but reject yours!" he exclaimed, speaking quite loudly but not exactly shouting at me.

His words put my frustration on pause again, as well as put a dark blush on my face. "If you really decided that, then why did you revoke that private decision of yours today? And to play a game of my creation, no less," I asked.

"...This is the first game that you've done that does not have any form of a player-against-player format. I've been thinking about that since Ezmette and you presented the design idea to me months ago. Today I finally decided that it would be alright to play such a game with you," he stated, "....Truth be told, I just really wanted to be able to play a game of your creation. You've improved quite a lot at not only gaming but game-making since that time, and it's just been killing me to be unable to play the games you've made."

There went the blush from my face, as well as pretty much every emotion I could feel, save for a sort of defeated deflation. So...he...just wanted to play my games. Was that it? That was it. I... What had I been thinking? I really had no clue. Clearly what he had been thinking all along was just that he didn't want to discourage me from striving to improve further, because he saw great potential in my skills for playing and designing games. Yes, quite obviously he hadn't been thinking of anything else, like, for instance, that he might like me....

Ugh. Yes. That's what I had been thinking just now. More like hoping, really. Actually, truth be told, it was more like wishing. Yes, I...had...sort of...had a crush on him, for....ever since I came to the school. I knew, though, that he was way out of my league. Just because he couldn't beat me in any game did not mean I was equal to him or better than him. ....Oh, wait, I couldn't use that as an analogy, since he could beat me, but simply had chosen not to....

"I know you can't help but be disappointed in me, Aiya, but, please, don't me upset with me," Rate said, drawing me from my thoughts more with how he grabbed my hand again than how he spoke again.

I glanced at him for a moment, then swiftly averted my gaze. "You misunderstand," I said, "I'm not upset with you. I'm....upset with myself for...not having noticed the truth on my own." It was a lie, although only half of one. I was upset with myself, but it was for having even momentarily thought that he was trying to make a confession of love rather than an admission of guilt.

"You don't need to be upset with yourself for such a thing. You can't help it, considering how hard I was trying to hide it," he said, offering up a reassuring smile, which I saw only because I was, despite myself, peeking at him from the corner of my eye.

I nodded my head even as I turned it away form him, biting my lip as I pulled my hand free of his. "Right. Anyway, now that I know, you can feel free to play my games with me anytime. Or one of the games made by club members other than ourselves. Even games with player-against-player conflict are okay. I'll be alright with it if I lose. Can't promise I won't get all frustrated like anyone else would while losing, though," I said, trying very hard to sound casual, "I'm sure the rest of the club members would love it if you'd start playing their games with them again, too. Not that we have anything against playing with you only when the game is of your design."

There was only a brief pause before he had suddenly grabbed my hand again—it was my other hand that he grabbed this time, actually—and pulled me around to make me look at him. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong, but he spoke before I could. "You misunderstand," he stated.

I didn't hesitate even long enough to close my mouth and then reopen it before I responded, the question forming on my tongue simply altering to a different one. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"You seem to think this is all about games. That's not the issue here, though. I'm not talking about playing games, I'm talking about having feelings. More specifically, I'm saying I have feelings for you," he stated flatly. This time I did hesitate to respond, so he went ahead and said more. "They started the first second you stepped in to the club room on the first day of school, looking to sign up for the Gaming Club. I asked you to convince me of your passion for gaming, the same as I do for every prospective member," he stated.

"When you had finished attempting to explain yourself, what I said was "You'e passionate. You're in.", but what I was thinking was "He's kind of cute when he's passionate." However, I didn't really realize I was interested for you and cared for you in a non-platonic way until the day I almost beat you. When I did realize it, even though I made the decision that I did in regards to games because I felt my feelings for you affected my will to fully utilize my gaming skills, I thought it would be better for me not to act on my romantic interest, thinking it was likely just a passing crush," he explained.

"As you know, I had a relationship or two, only one of which was truly serious..." he said. For a moment he trailed off, his free hand raising up to touch the collar of his shirt and then trail slowly downward from there. He was reflecting on that tattoo on his torso of the Super Mario Brothers sheet music, which every member of the Gaming Club knew he had gotten to go with the identical tattoo his now ex-boyfriend from the Music Club had.

When his hand reached the bottom of his shirt, it joined his other hand in holding onto mine. "...But, even as serious as that was, it wasn't enough to make me forget the "passing crush" I had on you that never passed...." he said softly, "Clearly I know now that it wasn't passing, and I doubt whether or not it was ever merely a crush. It may just have been love at first sight, and I simply never realized it."

It had taken me from the beginning of his confession a few minutes ago until now to push aside my stupor enough that I could respond—and even still now I was in such a stupor that it affected how I did react. "....Is this for real?" I asked.

"It's not a game, if that's what you're asking," he answered, one corner of his mouth twitching up in the slightest smile.

"No, I mean, like....is this a dream?" I asked, clearly still stupefied.

"Well, if you do mean "dream" and not "nightmare", then yes, this is for real. If you actually meant "nightmare", though, then I'm going to play this off like it was a joke so it hopefully won't be awkward for you even if it is awful and painful for me," he replied.

There was a blush on my face again. It was a new sort of blush, though, so it really wasn't "again". "....C....Can I kiss you?" I asked.

Now the other corner of his mouth twitched up as he leaned in to speak with his lips just barely not touching mine. "Well, I don't want to say you can't kiss me, but....I plan to be the one who is kissing you....and groping you...and doing all sorts of other things to you...while we play a game that is somewhat more adult in nature than Press T for Truth," he murmured in a tone that was just as seductive as it was suggestive.

My heart definitely skipped a beat as I licked my lips in anxious anticipation. "Oh, so, this game...is it one of your design...?" I asked, attempting to sound as seductive and suggestive as he did. While I didn't think I failed to sound seductive or suggestive, I most certainly didn't manage to do so on the same level as him. He was definitely levels above me in this game.

"Unfortunately, I can't claim that it is. However, I'm confident in saying that I truthfully believe I am one of the highest scorers in the world when it comes to this game," he purred. His lips were actually brushing mine as he spoke now. Had he leaned just that little bit closer on purpose or on accident? It definitely had to be on purpose. When you were in such a close proximity to one whom you were attracted to, no amount of physical contact, no matter how small, was ever an accident.

"You don't have to worry, though. There are no winners or losers. It's all about how you play the game," he added, finally pressing his lips fully to mine in a kiss. Lucky me that he had initiated the kiss without expecting a reply, because there was no way I could seem seductive or suggestive when I was blushing like crazy and absolutely stupefied by how high he scored when it came to seduction. It was also lucky for me that his kiss turned my outright stupor into a mere daze, so that I was able to react and kiss him back. I already loved this game, and we were just on the tutorial. I couldn't wait until we reached the later levels.